Goof Troop (TV Series)
For Pete's Sake (1992)
Jim Cummings: Pete, Police officer
Quotes
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Police Officer : Well, Pete, 99 out of 100 times, it's nothing.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [sighs in relief] Whew, that's what I figured.
Police Officer : Then again, there's that 100th time.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [gulps in fear] There is?
Police Officer : Reminds me of my first case. He was a used car salesman.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [fearfully] Like me?
Police Officer : No. This guy was crooked. Ripped off his customers. You're nothing like that.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [hesitant to be honest] No, not exactly.
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Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : There's a little guy across the street just staring at our house. He hasn't budged in over an hour.
Peg Pete : Pete, that's a lawn jockey!
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Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : Been dying to see this part of town, too. I don't mean that literally, of course!
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Police Officer : He received a letter like this, then strange things started happening. He heard squeaky footsteps wherever he went. He saw suspicious shadows on the walls. He felt the presence of eyes always watching over him. And then one day, poof, he disappeared.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : Poof?
Police Officer : Poof. Here's his picture when I found him 10 years later.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [cringing] Oh no, why, it's... it's horrible!
Police Officer : Oh sorry, that's a picture of a bowl of chili, that he won first prize at the Policeman's Chili Cook-off.
[hands Pete another picture from his coat]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : But this is just another bowl of chili.
Police Officer : No, that's him.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [squirms] Who would do such a thing?
Police Officer : Often someone close to the victim. A wife, son, daughter, uncle, busboy, foreign diplomat.
[he starts heading towards the door]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [Pete runs to him and grabs him in panic] But I don't want to wind up like CHILI!
Police Officer : Calm down. There's a 75% chance it's nothing.
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : [stammers] B-b-b-b-but you said it was a 99% chance before.
Police Officer : 99, 70. You said "tomorrow," I said "tomato." I'm afraid it's the perp's next move. Until then, just sit tight. Relax. Maybe consider bumping up your life insurance policy.
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[Pete has got a nose protector on, and is in paranoia hiding in his office, thinking that someone is out to get him]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : Huh! No silly letter is going to spook me. I've got nerves of steal. Why, I could eat Brussels Sprouts without even breaking.
[suddenly, the phone rings, and he shrieks in fear, and frantically crushes it to pieces with a bat]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : Probably a wrong number anyway.
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[Pete starts backing out of his garage, and hears a loud hit]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : I don't like the sound of that.
[gets out of his car and checks the back to see that he had just hit a big mult-trimming devise]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : Not my Swiss Army hedge-clipper!
[picks it up looking wrecked, and sees a cuckoo clock come out of it and fall]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : Ah, it's gonna cost me a fortune to replace.
[suddenly gets an idea]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : No. It's gonna cost the Goof a fortune.
[goes over to the back of Goofy's truck on his drive-way, and puts it under his back tire]
Peter 'Pete Petey' Pete, Sr. : He'll think he did it, and buy me a new one. Sometimes, I'm so rotten I give me goose bumps.