- Rob: Hello.
- Sophia Petrillo: Hello. Tell me, how many of me do you see?
- Bob: We're twins.
- Rob: We're here to see Blanche.
- Sophia Petrillo: I guess she's back on the vitamins. C'mon in.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [after Stan confessed his affairs] I always assumed this would happen, but I always thought that it would be with that secretary you had. You know, the blonde one that couldn't type or take shorthand.
- Stan Zbornak: You're wrong on two counts, Dorothy. One, she could take shorthand. And two, I did have an affair with her.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I'm shocked. That airhead could take shorthand?