- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Ma, you're not allowed to drive.
- Sophia Petrillo: Why not?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Because you drive like Mr. Magoo!
- Blanche: I haven't told you my wonderful news: my mother-in-law died.
- Rose Nylund: Oh, I'm sorry.
- Blanche: Well, I'm not. I loathed Mama Devereaux, and the feeling was entirely mutual. 'Til the day George died, she always introduced me as his 'first wife'. I just hope the old witch went slowly.
- Jamie: [later her brother-in-law Jamie arrives to settle Blanche's part of the estate] Fortunately the business with the Will shouldn't take long.
- Blanche: I shouldn't think so. I'd hardly expect Mama Devereaux to leave me the family silver.
- Jamie: Well, as her executor I had to go over her Will with her, the list of beneficiaries. Well, she was pretty far gone by then, but when we got to your name, she kept repeatin' in this weak, little voice, "I want her to have it. I want her to have it."
- Blanche: Well, I am surprised.
- Jamie: She was talkin' about her disease.
- Blanche: [Blanche telling the girls about her night with her late husband George's brother, Jamie] All we did all night was talk about George. How much George loved me, how George couldn't take his eyes off me, how George would have to save his money to buy presents good enough for me. It felt so good talking about George.
- Blanche: [after a long talk about her late husband George, with his brother Jamie over dinner] It made me realize why, from the time I laid eyes on him 'til the day he died, there was never, never another man in my life.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Oh, Blanche, you? You were never tempted.
- Blanche: Never.
- Sophia Petrillo: Didn't you have your milk delivered?
- Rose Nylund: [the girls are discussing Blanche's notion of marrying her late husband's brother, Jamie] I remember back in St Olaf, when Inge Engstrand married her late husband's brother, Lars, and the whole town was shocked. 'Course, that could have been because at the time Inge was on trial for her late husband's dismemberment.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: It was probably a factor.
- Rose Nylund: The trial went on for months. Attorneys' fees cost her an arm and a leg.
- Sophia Petrillo: [impatiently] Rose, get to the part where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head.
- Rose Nylund: So anyway, she got a suspended sentence.
- Sophia Petrillo: [incredulous] They let her go?
- Rose Nylund: No, they hanged her.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You'll have to excuse Rose. Every time a man speaks southern to her she goes all... stupid.
- Sophia Petrillo: Do you know how embarrassing it is to drive a car with a bumper sticker that says 'So many men - So little time'?