The Golden Girls (TV Series)

High Anxiety (1989)

Rue McClanahan: Blanche Devereaux

Quotes 

• Blanche Devereaux : ...there was a time in my life when I tried quittin' somethin'.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Blanche, you don't mean...

  Blanche Devereaux : Sex, Dorothy. I tried quittin' sex.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Obviously you fell off the wagon.

  Sophia Petrillo : And onto a naval base.

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Rose, what are those pills for?

  Rose Nylund : The doctor prescribed them when I wrenched my back.

  Blanche Devereaux : I didn't know you had hurt your back.

  Rose Nylund : Oh, it's an old farm injury from St Olaf. Ahh, I'll never forget when it happened. It was time to plant the crops, but after seventeen years of pulling a plow, poor old Bessie was worn out.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Well, why didn't you just get another mule?

  Rose Nylund : Oh, Bessie wasn't a mule. She was a big, fat lady who pulled farm plows for a living.

  Blanche Devereaux : [astonished]  For God's sake. What about tractors?

  Rose Nylund : Well, come on, Blanche. If she was too old to pull a plow, how could she ever pull a tractor?

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [Rose is realizing she may be hooked on her medication]  Honey, there's a place for people with this kind of problem.

  Sophia Petrillo : Please, what is she gonna do in the NBA?

  Blanche Devereaux : Rose, let us call a rehabilitation center for you.

  Rose Nylund : No, I don't need one of those places. I can't go to one of those places. I'd be too ashamed. I'd be too embarrassed.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : What is there to be ashamed of? You have a medical problem. Was Betty Ford embarrassed? Was... was Liza Minnelli embarrassed?

  Sophia Petrillo : She should have been. Did you see "Arthur 2"?

• Blanche Devereaux : [describing her temptations after her husband George died]  There was a man. He asked me to sleep with him. I said, *No*. But I knew something greater than my will-power was necessary for me to resist him, so I called my sister.

  Rose Nylund : Did she help talk you through it?

  Blanche Devereaux : Oh, better than that. She drove straight over, she took him by the throat, she said if he ever tried that again she would shoot him through the head.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Just because he made a pass at you?

  Blanche Devereaux : Oh, did I forget to mention that the man was my sister's husband?

• Sophia Petrillo : Phyllis Gluckman is giving me a ride to my acting lesson. If I'm gonna be in a commercial, I want to be good.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, what are you talking about? The commercial is off.

  Sophia Petrillo : No it isn't. I got the director to change his mind.

  Blanche Devereaux : Then he's comin' back here to shoot the commercial?

  Sophia Petrillo : No, he doesn't want to get anywhere near Rose. He's gonna shoot it at his studio.

  Blanche Devereaux : But if he shoots it at his studio, then I get screwed and have nothing to show for it.

  Sophia Petrillo : Welcome to show business.

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [Dorothy is skeptical about Sophia's claim that she's been asked to be in a pizza-store commercial]  OK, OK, Ma, where are you going to shoot this commercial?

  Sophia Petrillo : Well, we discussed many exotic, uh, locations, and we settled on... right here!

  Blanche Devereaux : Oh, now hold on here. I don't want a TV crew comin' in here, messin' up my kitchen, settin' up all that video equipment.

  Rose Nylund : Well, how about shooting it in your bedroom, Blanche? The equipment's already set up there.

• Blanche Devereaux : Rose, you can't stop takin' these pills. You have a problem.

  Rose Nylund : I can stop, and I'll start stopping tomorrow. Oh, boy, will you be proud of me. You just wait. Only I can't stop tonight.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Why not?

  Rose Nylund : Because... because! Because tonight is the anniversary of the death of my beloved cat, Fluffy.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Rose, you have never had cats. You're allergic.

  Rose Nylund : OK, it's the anniversary of the death of my beloved brother, Fluffy.