- Sophia Petrillo: I think my milestone birthday was when I turned 50.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh, Ma, I remember your 50th. We were supposed to go to a party at Guido's, but you were fighting with Pop.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh, yeah.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh, I'll never forget it. It was Brooklyn, April, 1956.
- Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Yes?
- Sophia Petrillo: I tell the stories around here. Picture it: Brooklyn, April, 1956...
- Dorothy Zbornak: Did you finish the decorations, Rose?
- Rose Nylund: No, not yet. I, I kinda got sidetracked.
- [reveals a mouse-like balloon sculpture]
- Rose Nylund: Look.
- Dorothy Zbornak: This is what you've been doing for the past forty-five minutes?
- Rose Nylund: Uh-huh. Isn't he cute? I call him Scotty.
- [Dorothy pops the balloon]
- Dorothy Zbornak: Now you can call him garbage.
- Salvadore Petrillo: [yelling] I'm tired of this "old lady" business. You're acting like an ass! You don't look 50. You don't look 48. You're as beautiful as the day I married you.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh, Salvadore! Tell me that again.
- Salvadore Petrillo: [still yelling] You're acting like an ass!