- Luke Danes: Should I bother to ask how your day's going?
- Lorelai: Oh, terrific! My shoe's an icicle, the Inn's driveway is snowed in and we lost the Goldfarbs.
- Luke Danes: Who are the Goldfarbs?
- Lorelai: The two guests who bothered to show up. I sent them skiing and I killed them.
- Luke Danes: You killed your guests?
- Lorelai: Eh, well, you know what happens. The only bright side of my day is being asked to be a prostitute.
- Luke Danes: That's something to cling to.
- Kirk Gleason: [bursting into the diner] My girlfriend's the whore! My girlfriend's the whore! Woohoo! Yeah!
- Lorelai: Great, now I'm not even the town whore.
- Luke Danes: Well, if you like, I'll leave a little something on the dresser for you tonight.
- Lorelai: Oh, forget the foot. I need caffeine. Whatever form you've got, I haven't had any all day. I'll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it's in, gimme.
- [Lorelai & Luke sitting at the counter in Luke's Diner]
- Lorelai: The only bright side of my day is being asked to bring a prostitute
- Luke Danes: That's something to cling to.
- Kirk Gleason: [Enters Luke's Diner, shouting excitedly] My girlfriend's the whore! My girlfriend's the whore! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- Lorelai: Great. Now I'm not even the town whore
- Luke Danes: Well, if you like, I'll leave a little something on the dresser for you tonight
- Lorelai: Couldn't hurt