- Luke Danes: Shouldn't we give thanks first?
- Jess Mariano: Thanks for what?
- Luke Danes: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox infested blankets.
- Lorelai: Amen.
- Lorelai: Hey, Kirk, discover a new freaky fetish?
- Kirk Gleason: What?
- Rory: Nothing. You buy a cat?
- Kirk Gleason: Yep! I'm very excited.
- Lorelai: You seem it. So what's all this?
- Rory: I'm assuming there's nothing left in the store.
- Kirk Gleason: Actually there are a number of things left.
- Rory: No, I meant, you seem to be buying a lot of stuff.
- Kirk Gleason: Oh. Sorry. My excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole.
- Luke Danes: What's this?
- Rory: Flowers.
- Luke Danes: What do I do with them?
- Lorelai: Uh! Not this again.
- Rory: Put 'em in a vase with water.
- Luke Danes: I don't have a vase.
- Lorelai: You do this every year.
- Luke Danes: I don't have vases.
- Lorelai: Buy a vase.
- Luke Danes: But I don't need a vase, because I never have flowers.
- Lorelai: Except when we bring you flowers every year at Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.
- Luke Danes, Lorelai: Stop bringing me flowers.
- Lorelai: I knew you were gonna say that because you say the same thing - We have the same exact conversation every year.
- Luke Danes: And every year you point that out.
- Lorelai: And every year you point that out.
- Luke Danes: And every year you point that out.
- Rory: And then every year we put the flowers on the counter and forget the ugliness ever happened.
- Lorelai: Well at least we have a tradition.
- Lorelai: What's that?
- Sookie St. James: That is a vat of boiling oil.
- Lorelai: Really? Where's Quasimodo?
- Sookie St. James: This is not a joking matter.
- Rory: What is the oil for?
- Lorelai: For pouring on Visigoths.
- Sookie St. James: Lorelai.
- Lorelai: When else am I gonna get to use my Visigoth material?
- Mrs. Kim: Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces.
- Emily Gilmore: I wanted to talk to you.
- Lorelai: Phone's out of order?
- Emily Gilmore: Let's not play games here.
- Lorelai: Games?
- Emily Gilmore: I've called several times the past few weeks and you've skillfully avoided every call.
- Lorelai: No, that's not true. I've left messages on your machine.
- Emily Gilmore: Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, you'd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, you'd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then you'd make garbling noises and hang up.
- Paris Geller: My Thanksgiving is turning into a Wes Craven movie.
- Rory: How so?
- Paris Geller: I called shelters to volunteer to serve food. It's Thanksgiving - you'd think they have needs. Nope. Every stupid soup kitchen in town turned me down because they have enough volunteers.
- Madeline Lynn: Bummer.
- Paris Geller: I'm on a couple waiting lists, but it doesn't look good.
- Rory: I've never heard of too many volunteers.
- Paris Geller: Who are all these jackasses who volunteered anyway? They can't all be students like me. They're not all putting it on a college application. I get something out of it and these other people don't get a thing. Talk about selfish.
- Madeline Lynn: That was really distracting.
- Paris Geller: Oh. Well, by all means, Madeline, you should point out to the faculty that their annoying custom of teaching is distracting you from more important things like nail filing and daydreaming about marrying Ryan Phillippe.
- Louise Grant: Uh, he's already married.
- Paris Geller: Then whatever strawhead actor isn't.
- Madeline Lynn: This was bad. For the last five minutes, every single thing she said sounded dirty.
- Louise Grant: Yeah, same here.
- Paris Geller: Good God.
- Madeline Lynn: I mean, reticulum? Come on.
- Louise Grant: Plus, the golgi body. I mean, is it me or is that majorly pornographic?
- Paris Geller: My life with the Banger sisters.