- Dr. Madre: I've been working on an experiment, alone, isolated, for I don't know how long, I've lost track of time. Three, might even be four years.
- [suddenly whispering]
- Dr. Madre: I think that man at the bar is after me.
- Maxwell Smart: [Max looks over] That's a woman!
- Dr. Madre: Then it's been four years.
- 99: [worried] He's not gonna show up, he doesn't want to marry me.
- Chief: Don't say that, 99, he'll be here, he must have stopped of for something on the way.
- 99's Mother: Of course darling, he probably stopped of at a bar for a drink.
- 99: At 10.30 in the morning?
- 99's Mother: Bums drink at any hour.
- Maxwell Smart: [99's mother is at the door] Is she moving in with us already? We're not even married yet.
- Chief: The guests are starting to ask questions.
- 99: Have they all arrived?
- 99's Mother: Everyone except the bum.
- 99: Well Chief, I guess you'd better go downstairs and tell them that the wedding is off.
- Chief: Let's give the bum another few minutes... I mean Max.
- Maxwell Smart: [on their wedding night] You know, 99, you have the prettiest shoulders I...
- 99: Oh, well you've seen them before, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: Yes. But never without a holster.