- Chief of Control: It might interest you to know that Red Cloud's enormous arrow is now on display in the west wing of the White House.
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: No kidding, Chief. Where did it land?
- Chief of Control: In the west wing of the White House.
- Army General: I can't believe any little Indian band is going to defeat the United States Army.
- Admiral: [slaps him on the back] I agree with you, General Custer.
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: [Speaking into his tomahawk telephone] Don't worry 99, 43 is a good man.
- Agent 99: [Answering on regular walkie talkie] You're worth two 43's, 86.
- Chief of Control: Max, do you realize what you've done on the strength of a minor incident? You woke up the three highest ranking officers in the U.S. military, you got hundreds of planes flying in the air, you canceled thousands of leaves. That's what you've done, Max!
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Just what are you getting at, Chief?
- Chief of Control: I can't believe that you would summon the chiefs of staff on this awful hour simply because three Indians attacked a bus.
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Four, Chief.
- Chief of Control: Max, do you realize what time it is? It's three in the morning!
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: [looks at his watch] Four, Chief.
- Green Meadows: Red Cloud, this is bad medicine! The United States has three million soldiers. We have but two hundred braves.
- Red Cloud: [whispering] We must depend heavily on the element of surprise.
- White Cloud: [thinking Maxwell Smart is her fiancé] Running Creek, your years spend in the great cities of the east have turned you into a real weirdo!
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: [Smart's cover has been blown] I'm Maxwell Smart, secret agent 86!
- Red Cloud: Torture him! Kill him!
- Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: I'm also a liar.
- Red Cloud: This man is an imposter. We are going to kill him.
- White Cloud: Oh, I know he's an imposter, but he's cute and I want him.