Get Smart (TV Series)

Smart Fell on Alabama (1969)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Quotes 

• Chief : Max, this is a suicide mission. Whoever goes, will probably never come back.

  Maxwell Smart : Yes, well, whoever it is, Chief, let's wish him good luck.

  Chief : Good luck, Max.

• Larabee : Gee, I'm sorry I'm late, 99, did you have the baby yet?

  Maxwell Smart : Of course she didn't have the baby yet. What are you doing here?

  Larabee : I came here to take her to the hospital to have the baby.

  Maxwell Smart : Well, we don't know when she's going to have the baby, she could have it tonight, she could have it tomorrow night, she could have it the next night.

  Larabee : Gee, I hope not, Max, that's why I'm here now. I'm tied up for the rest of the week.

• Maxwell Smart : Now, according to my calculations, the safe should be - right behind that painting.

  Simmons : Are you sure?

  Maxwell Smart : Here, help me move this safe over, so I can stand on it and get a better look.

• Colonel Kyle K. Kirby : [Max and Simmons are caught by the Colonel]  So, Control agents, huh?

  Maxwell Smart : [Max covers the number sewn on his uniform]  I don't know what you're talking about. We're just regular, run-of-the-mill, everyday burglars.

  Colonel Kyle K. Kirby : What's your name?

  Maxwell Smart : I don't have to give you my name, Colonel, all I have to do is to give you my Control serial number: 8-6-5...

• Agent 99 : [on phone]  The Chief is waiting for me downstairs. I'm on my way to the hospital right now.

  Maxwell Smart : [on wristwatch phone]  Are you alright, 99?

  Agent 99 : Yes. The pains are coming every ten minutes now.

  Maxwell Smart : [in the process of being whipped by the Colonel]  Good. Mine are coming every five seconds.