- Maxwell Smart: [looking at a showgirl in a skimpy outfit] That's Dr. Steel?
- Chief: Yes. The chorus line is her cover.
- Maxwell Smart: Not much of a cover, is it?
- Chief: Max!
- Maxwell Smart: Well, I'm not dead yet, Chief.
- Maxwell Smart: Is one of your customers a girl?
- Proprietor: [nods] Sometimes.
- # 99: Describe her, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, I really didn't pay that much attention to her, 99. Let's see, she was about 5 foot 6, eh, soft blond hair, 38, 23, 36 measurements, deep blue eyes and delicious lips.
- # 99: Max! She tried to poison you.
- Maxwell Smart: Well it's not all gravy, you know.
- Dr. Steel: One must not hurry the process of scientific research, Mr. Smart.
- Maxwell Smart: Well would one remember that one is going to die at one o'clock tomorrow afternoon and I'm the one who's the one?
- Maxwell Smart: There's nothing that can be done. At one o'clock Maxwell Smart will be dead. Only his legend will live on.
- Maxwell Smart: What are you, some kind of a nut that likes to see people die?
- Mr. Hercules: Yes, it's such a marvelous contrast to my own splendid health.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, how about a little of that wine I promised you? I had it imported. From Napa Valley, California.
- Janet: Lips that touch wine will never touch mine.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, well that might make drinking this a little difficult
- [puts away bottle]
- Maxwell Smart: Gentlemen, this fight will have to be short. I have less than 10 minutes. And I have nothing to lose.
- Mr. Hercules: What'll it be? Carrot juice, onion juice or farkelberry juice?
- Maxwell Smart: Farkelberry juice?
- Mr. Hercules: From the bark of the farkelberry tree.
- Maxwell Smart: [Max has been handed Dr. Steel's bill] 48 dollars? For what?
- # 99: For your life, Max!
- Maxwell Smart: But she works for Control!
- Chief: She developed this on her own time, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: But this is ridiculous. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. I'm not paying this bill, 48 dollars, that's out of the question. Forget about it. I wouldn't pay it if my life depended on it.
- Chief: It does Max, you have to take another dose of this tomorrow and she had to give it to you if you're to complete your cure.
- Maxwell Smart: 99, do you have 48 dollars you could let me have until pay day?
- Telephone operator: [the Chief dials Smart's telephone number] I'm sorry, that number has been disconnected. The subscriber is deceased.