- George Lopez: [looking at a picture of Manny] Who's that he's holding?
- Aunt Cecilia: That's you.
- Benny: Do you know why he's holding you? Because he just sold your crib for weed.
- Angie Lopez: [the kids won't give the dog an injection] George, the dog needs his insulin shot, if he doesn't get it he'll go into a coma.
- George Lopez: What's he in now?
- George Lopez: I've never seen my mother run away from anybody before.
- Aunt Cecilia: That's your mother? Georgie! I'm your Aunt Cecelia.
- George Lopez: [remembering] Oh yeah, the poisoned cookie lady.
- George Lopez: What's that smell?
- Max Lopez: That's our new dog.
- George Lopez: Ooh, he doesn't smell new. Put him on his leash and take him for a walk.
- Carmen Lopez: He can't walk.
- George Lopez: Then pick him up and squeeze him till he pees.
- Benny: Why's the dog on the table?
- Carmen Lopez: He's allergic to the grass.
- Benny: That's some dog your mom got, when's she bringing home the purple pony?
- Angie Lopez: Alright everybody, I'm going to show you how to give the dog his insulin shot.
- [the dog looks at her]
- Angie Lopez: You know what? We learn by doing,
- [gives Carmen the syringe]
- Angie Lopez: Go ahead, Carmen.
- Carmen Lopez: [hands the syringe to Max] Here, you're a boy, you're gross, you do it.
- Max Lopez: [backs off] I'm just a kid.
- Benny: You know what? When I was a kid, I had an older dog that was sick and needed a lot of special care. Then one day, somebody accidentally left the gate open and the dog ran away, got all better.
- George Lopez: [to the dog] I guess we got a lot of things inside us bothering us. I'm torn up with all these emotions and feelings and, you have ringworm and bladder infection.