George Lopez (TV Series)

The Trouble with Ricky (2004)

Valente Rodriguez: Ernie

Quotes 

• George Lopez : [Ernie offers to be Ricky's foster parent]  What are you gonna do if he drives a car through your fence?

  Ernie : George, my dad's 75. He does that once a week.

• Ricky : Did you ever do anything like this when you were a kid?

  Ernie : [laughs]  Actually, yeah. One time, George and I broke into the school with a whole bunch of spray paint and we, uh...

  [Ricky looks on smiling] 

  Ernie : Made a banner that said 'learning is cool'.

• George Lopez : [Ernie has a black eye]  Oh, man, what happened?

  Ernie : I don't want to talk about it!

  George Lopez : Oh, Ernie, don't tell me some lie about how you fell again. You know, sooner or later, you're gonna have to leave that man.

  Ernie : Man, I'm done reffing soccer.

  George Lopez : Why?

  Ernie : Last night, I make one close call and then all of a sudden, there's a mob of angry parents in my face. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground!

  George Lopez : Yeah, dude, some of those dads get crazy.

  Ernie : Well, actually, it was a soccer mom. And she was pregnant, so I couldn't punch her back.

• George Lopez : So why can't we help Ricky?

  Angie Lopez : Because we have to think about Max first. He's about to fail the 5th grade, and Ricky is a bad influence on him. You said so yourself. I don't want him in our house.

  George Lopez : Well, if he can't go home and he can't stay here, I mean, what is he supposed to do?

  Ernie : Hey, what if he stays with me?

  George Lopez : Oh, come on, Ernie.

  Ernie : No. He can stay with me and my folks.

  George Lopez : You serious?

  Ernie : Yeah. You remember my mom and dad used to be foster parents? And I could get certified while Ricky's staying with us.

  George Lopez : But, dude, I mean, come on. Taking on a kid. Isn't that gonna cut into your social... Well, what about climbing up the corporate... What if you meet a girl who... You know what? You can take my kids, too.

  Ernie : Hey, this is gonna work, George. I can actually make a difference in someone's life.

  George Lopez : [to Angie]  Well, you know, Ernie's parents do have plenty of room. I mean, they even have that paneled basement downstairs where Ernie tried to do his own cable access show, 'It's Ernie'.