- Rachel Green: I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doin'?"
- Phoebe: [Phoebe returns to Eric's apartment after having to leave] Ready to pick up where we left off?
- Eric: I don't know. I'm still kinda tired from this afternoon.
- Phoebe: This afternoon?
- Eric: Yeah, you know, all the sex this afternoon.
- Phoebe: We did not have sex this afternoon!
- Eric: Yes, we did!
- Phoebe: No we didn't!
- Eric: Well, it was either you or
- [realization dawns]
- Eric: someone who looked an awful lot like you.
- Phoebe: Ew! You had sex with Ursula! Ew, ew, ew! This is just too weird!
- Chandler Bing: I know you don't like to relinquish control.
- Monica Geller-Bing: Relinquish is just a fancy word for lose.
- Monica Geller-Bing: She stole my jeans!.. I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them.
- Chandler Bing: So she stole your pants, and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
- Monica Geller-Bing: Don't you see? It's the perfect crime!
- Chandler Bing: She must have been planning this for years.
- Monica Geller-Bing: I will prove it to you. About a week ago, I was wearing those jeans. I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. When she comes back, I will find it and show you that stain!
- Chandler Bing: Honey, is it possible the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
- Monica Geller-Bing: I guess.
- Chandler Bing: So shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt before we go snooping around her crotch?