Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Rumor (2001)

Courteney Cox: Monica Geller-Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ross : It was no big deal. We... we said that... the rumor was that you had both male and female reproductive parts.

  Rachel : What?

  Will : That's right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided that Rachel was a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.

  Rachel : Oh, my God!

  Monica : You started that?

  Rachel : What? You heard that?

  Monica : Everyone at our school heard it!

  Chandler : Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?

• Monica : Also, just so you know, I'm not making a turkey this year.

  Joey : What?

  Monica : Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey...

  Joey : Phoebe.

  Phoebe : Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.

  Joey : No, they're not. They're ugly and stupid and delicious.

• Monica : This is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.

  Chandler : Hey, I'd shake your hand but I'm into the game, plus I think it would be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other.

• Monica : [about the rumor Will and Ross started about her in high school]  Rachel, everybody in school heard the rumor.

  Rachel : You knew and you didn't tell me?

  Monica : Well, I was afraid it might be true, you'd cry and then show it to me!

  Rachel : [notices Joey staring at her groin]  Joey, stop staring. There's nothing there. It's not true.

  Joey : I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.

• Monica : Thanksgiving tomorrow four o'clock.

  [to Rachel] 

  Monica : Guess who I invited? Do you remember that guy Will Cobert from high school? He was in Ross' class marching band. He was kinda overweight... really overweight... I was his thin friend.

  Rachel : Wow. I don't remember him. Honey, are you sure you're not talking about your imaginary boyfriend?

  Monica : No that was Jared. Wow. I haven't thought about him in a long time.

• Rachel : OK, listen to what Sean McMann said in my yearbook. 'Dear Rachel, you are a very nice person.' Not girl; person.

  Ross : Rachel, I think you're reading too much into it.

  Rachel : 'Dear Rachel, you are a very nice person. Sorry about your teeny weeny.'

  [Will laughs at Rachel] 

  Ross : Look, what do you want me to do? You want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?

  Rachel : Yes.

  Will : Could you also tell them I'm skinny now?

  Monica : Oh, me too.

  Ross : Now look, I'm not calling anybody. Ok, it was like a million years ago.

  Rachel : I don't care how long ago it was. You told people I was half and half.

• Rachel : The "I Hate Rachel Green Club"? Who was in this club?

  Will : Me and Ross...

  Ross : There's no need to point; she knows who Ross is.

  Rachel : Ross! Who else?

  Ross : Well, there was that exchange student from Thailand, but I don't think he really understand what it was.

  Rachel : [to Monica]  Did you know about this?

  Monica : I swear I didn't know. Wait a minute; is that why the two of you used to go into your room and lock the door?

  Ross : [ashamed]  Uh, yes.

  Monica : Gotta tell you; that's a relief.

• Monica : Well, there was that rumor about you making out with Miss Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.

  Ross : [to Rachel]  How did you know that?

  Monica : What? So it's true?

  Ross : [to Monica]  No.

  Rachel : Oh, yeah it is. I saw you going at behind the card cataloge.

  Ross : Hey, what were you doing in the library?

  Rachel : They had magazines!

• Monica : You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?

  Joey : That's right, 'cause I'm a Tribbiani, and this is what we do. We may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we don't read a lot or run very fast, but dammit we can eat!

• Joey : How big is that?

  Monica : About nineteen pounds.

  Joey : That's like me when I was born!

• Monica : Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You've been through so much since then. And right now you've got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Can't you just let this go?

  Rachel : She's right.

  Ross : Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.

  Will : Hold on! You got her pregnant?

  Ross : Yeah.

  Will : Are ya getting married?

  Ross : Nope.

  Will : So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude!

  [Wants to high-five but Ross ignores him] 

  Will : Anybody?