Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Rumor (2001)

Brad Pitt: Will Colbert

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ross : It was no big deal. We... we said that... the rumor was that you had both male and female reproductive parts.

  Rachel : What?

  Will : That's right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided that Rachel was a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.

  Rachel : Oh, my God!

  Monica : You started that?

  Rachel : What? You heard that?

  Monica : Everyone at our school heard it!

  Chandler : Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?

• Will : [about how he hated Rachel in high school]  It wasn't just me. We had a club.

  Rachel : You had a club?

  Will : That's right. The I Hate Rachel Green Club.

  Rachel : O my God! So what? You all just join together to hate me? Who else was in this club?

  Will : Me and Ross.

  [points to Ross] 

  Ross : No need to point. She knows who Ross is.

• Rachel : Do you have a problem with me?

  Will : I dunno... do I, do I?

  Phoebe : I think you do!

• Ross : So what are you up to?

  Will : I'm a commodities broker.

  Ross : Really? That sounds interesting.

  Will : Yeah, no, it's not. But I'm rich and thin.

• Will : God, we were lame back then. Remember how into dinosaurs we were?

  [to Ross] 

  Will : So what do you do now?

• Ross : I'm back in the club!

  Will : Yeah. Shall I call a meeting to order?

  Ross : Is everybody present?

  Will : With the exception if Tiktaka.

  Phoebe : I want to join!

  Rachel : Phoebe?

  Phoebe : I'm sorry, but I never got to be in a club. I didn't go to high school. But three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.

• Rachel : OK, listen to what Sean McMann said in my yearbook. 'Dear Rachel, you are a very nice person.' Not girl; person.

  Ross : Rachel, I think you're reading too much into it.

  Rachel : 'Dear Rachel, you are a very nice person. Sorry about your teeny weeny.'

  [Will laughs at Rachel] 

  Ross : Look, what do you want me to do? You want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?

  Rachel : Yes.

  Will : Could you also tell them I'm skinny now?

  Monica : Oh, me too.

  Ross : Now look, I'm not calling anybody. Ok, it was like a million years ago.

  Rachel : I don't care how long ago it was. You told people I was half and half.

• Rachel : The "I Hate Rachel Green Club"? Who was in this club?

  Will : Me and Ross...

  Ross : There's no need to point; she knows who Ross is.

  Rachel : Ross! Who else?

  Ross : Well, there was that exchange student from Thailand, but I don't think he really understand what it was.

  Rachel : [to Monica]  Did you know about this?

  Monica : I swear I didn't know. Wait a minute; is that why the two of you used to go into your room and lock the door?

  Ross : [ashamed]  Uh, yes.

  Monica : Gotta tell you; that's a relief.

• Will : Look at her holding those yams. Those are our two worst enemies, Ross - Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

• [Will gives a pie to Monica] 

  Will : It's no fat, no sugar, no dairy... It's no good, throw it out.

• Monica : Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You've been through so much since then. And right now you've got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Can't you just let this go?

  Rachel : She's right.

  Ross : Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.

  Will : Hold on! You got her pregnant?

  Ross : Yeah.

  Will : Are ya getting married?

  Ross : Nope.

  Will : So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude!

  [Wants to high-five but Ross ignores him] 

  Will : Anybody?

• Will : [angrily stares at Rachel, and very quietly mouths]  I hate you.

• Will : Look at her standing there with those yams. My two greatest enemies, Ross - Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.