Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Race Car Bed (1996)

Matt LeBlanc: Joey Tribbiani

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joey : There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent present. And I'm ashamed to say that I took it. I advised a fellow actor to play a role... homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part and, uh, as it turned out, they... They liked the stupid gay thing and cast him! And now he's got a two-year contract opposite Susan Lucci, the First Lady of daytime television. And me? Me, I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV!

• Joey : Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13.

• Joey : [to his acting class]  To work in soap operas, some of you are going to have to become much more attractive.

• Joey : [teaching Acting for Soap Operas]  Okay, some tricks of the trade...

  Joey : Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers and just start pulling.

  Joey : Or let's say I want to convey that I've, uh, just done something evil. Well, that would be your basic I've-got-a fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-I-like-it.

  Joey : No? Okay. Let's say I've just gotten bad news. Well, all I do there is try and divide 213 by 13.

  Joey : And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight, everybody. Class dismissed.

• Monica : What's the part?

  Joey : It's not a part. No. I'm teaching Acting for Soap Operas at the Learning Extension.

  Ross Geller , Rachel Green , Monica : Come on. That's great.

  Joey : It's like my chance to give something back to the acting community.

  Ross Geller : You know, you're probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.

  Joey : [long pause]  I know.