Friends (TV Series)
The One with the Jellyfish (1997)
David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller
Quotes
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Joey : Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Monica : Alright, alright. I got stung. I got stung bad. I couldn't stand. I couldn't walk.
Chandler : We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it.
Monica : I was in too much pain.
Joey : And I was tired from digging a huge hole!
Chandler : And then Joey remembered something...
Joey : I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.
Ross : Wait a minute, I saw that, on the Discovery Channel. About jellyfish, and how if you... Eww! You peed on yourself?
Monica : You can't say that! You don't know! I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way. So...
Joey : Yeah that's right. I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help. And if I have to I'd pee on any one of you. Only, I couldn't... I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was just too much pressure. So, so I turned to Chandler.
Chandler : [moan] Joey kept screaming at me. Do it now, do it, do it, do it, do it now! Sometimes late at night I can still hear the screaming.
Joey : That's cause sometimes I scream it through my wall just to freak you out.
Rachel : Maybe there's someone you can talk to.
Monica : Yeah like who? There's no group for people like us.
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Ross : And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!
Rachel : Yeah! You, and that girl from the copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!
Ross : I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for, okay? I didn't finish the whole letter!
Rachel : What?
Ross : I fell asleep!
Rachel : You fell asleep?
Ross : It was five thirty in the morning. And you had rambled on for eighteen pages. FRONT AND BACK!
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Rachel : You know, I can't believe I even thought about getting back together with you! We are sooo over!
Ross : [fakes sobbing] Fine by me!
Rachel : Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!
Monica : Hey!
Rachel : Sorry.
[to Ross]
Rachel : I just feel bad about all that sleep you're gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Ross : Oh, no-no-no, don't you worry about me falling asleep.
[shouts]
Ross : I still have your letter!
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Rachel : I mean, the way you owned up to everything it just... proved how much you had grown, you know? I mean my mom never thought this would work out. She was like: "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
Ross : [getting angrier and angrier] Mm hm.
Rachel : Oh. I just wish we hadn't lost these last four months.
Rachel : [taps Ross's face] But if time was what was needed to gain a little perspective.
Ross : [unable to restrain himself any longer, he screams] WE. WERE. ON. A. BREEEAAAK!
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Ross : [after reading Rachel's letter to him, blaming everything that went wrong in their relationship on him] It so does NOT!