Friends (TV Series)

The One with Ross's New Girlfriend (1995)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Monica gets a disastrous haircut] 

  Ross : How's Monica?

  Phoebe : She's calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.

  Ross : How's the hair?

  Phoebe : I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross - it doesn't look good.

  Joey : Can we see her?

  Phoebe : No, your hair looks too good; I think it would only upset her.

  Rachel : Oh.

  Phoebe : Ross, you can go on in.

• Phoebe : [Julie has asked Phoebe to cut her hair]  Rachel, just so I don't screw it up again - Andie MacDowell is the actress in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", right?

  Rachel : [deviously]  Uh, no. That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the actor in "Planet of the Apes'.

• [Phoebe is cutting Monica's hair] 

  Phoebe : Relax; I know what I'm doing - this is how *he* wears it.

  Monica : How who wears it?

  Phoebe : Demi Moore.

  Monica : Demi Moore is not a he.

  Phoebe : Well, he was *he* in "Arthur" and in "10", eh.

  Monica : That's Dudley Moore! I said I wanted it like Demi Moore!

  Phoebe : Oh... Oh!

  Monica : Oh, my god!

  Phoebe : I'm sorry - I'm sorry! Which one is Demi Moore?

  Monica : *She's* the actress, who was in "Disclosure", "Indecent Proposal", and "Ghost".

  Phoebe : Oh! Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.

  Monica : I know!

• Monica : Hey, Phoebe - guess what I'm thinking!

  Phoebe : Oh, OK. How it's been so long since you've had sex, and wondering if they've changed it?

  [Monica glares at her] 

  Phoebe : Not even close...?

  Monica : No... only *now* that's what I'm thinking.

• Rachel : [sticking her head out of her bedroom]  Uh... morning! Hey, you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?

  Joey : [grabbing his pants]  Oh, no no no no no! I'm not falling for that again!

  Phoebe : What's going on?

  Rachel : Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night...

  Chandler : What stupid thing did you do?

  Paolo : [coming out of Rachel's bedroom]  Buon giorno, tutti!

• [end lines] 

  Julie : I was thinking of doing it shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut.

  Phoebe : Oh, yeah. Oh, I could do that.

  Julie : Really?

  Phoebe : Yeah. You wanna do it now?

  Julie : Great!

  Phoebe : Okay.

  Julie : Okay.

  [to Rachel] 

  Julie : See you.

  Phoebe : [when Julie's out]  Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?

  Rachel : No... No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.

  Phoebe : Oh! Yeah, okay.

  Rachel : Yeah. Okay?

  Phoebe : Thank you.

  Rachel : You're welcome.

• Phoebe : [to Paolo]  Okay, you're gonna have to *not* touch my ass.