Friends (TV Series)

The One with Ross's Denial (1999)

Lisa Kudrow: Phoebe Buffay

Quotes 

• Phoebe Buffay : [to the people in Central Perk]  If you wanna receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

• Phoebe Buffay : [singing]  I found you in my bed, how you wind up there, you are a mystery, little black curly hair

  [Ross seems disturbed] 

  Phoebe Buffay : Little black curly hair, little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair.

• Phoebe Buffay : Hey, so what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Oh, that. Uhm, she took it really well.

  Phoebe Buffay : Huh! You didn't tell her, did you?

  Dr. Ross Geller : No.

  Phoebe Buffay : Of course not, because you're in love with her.

  Dr. Ross Geller : I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out, so I didn't tell her we were still married 'cause she'd only get more upset, I just comforted her, as a friend.

  Phoebe Buffay : What do you mean, 'comforted her'?

  Dr. Ross Geller : It was nothing, I gave her a hug.

  Phoebe Buffay : Ah ha! A classic sign of love, the hug.

  Dr. Ross Geller : it's also a sign of friendship.

  Phoebe Buffay : Yeah, not in your case, Lovey Loverson.

  Dr. Ross Geller : It was a hug, okay? A simple hug. I was a friend being a friend to a friend.

  Phoebe Buffay : Use the word 'friend' more. Just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?

  Dr. Ross Geller : Smell her hair? What if I did?

  Phoebe Buffay : Ninety percent of a woman's pheromones come at the top of her head. That's why women are shorter, so that men will fall in love when they hug them. Come on, Ross, you're a scientist.

  Dr. Ross Geller : I was hugging her as a friend, it's not my fault her hair got in my face, she's got a lot of it, and it smells all coconutty

  [Phoebe gives him an incredulous stare] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : . What? Oh, it doesn't mean I've feelings for Rachel, maybe it means I've feelings for coconuts.

  Phoebe Buffay : Okay, whatever you say, but just be careful, alright? Rachel's not in the same place you are.

  Dr. Ross Geller : Okay, if the place you're referring to is being in love, then she *is* in the same place as me, because I am *not* in that place.

  Phoebe Buffay : I didn't understand that. But, you know, maybe that's 'cause you were speaking the secret language of *love*.