- Joey Tribbiani: Hey, look, a new Playboy.
- Monica Geller: Yeah. Just something I picked up.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Cookies and porn? You're the best mom ever.
- Rachel Green: [Wondering how to ask a client out on a date] I don't even know how I would go about it.
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh oh oh, what I do is uh, I look a woman up and down and I say, "Hey, how you doin..."
- Rachel Green: [Annoyed] Oh, please.
- Joey Tribbiani: [to Phoebe] Hey! How you doin...
- Phoebe: [Phoebe pauses a moment then looks away, giggling and flattered] Just fine.
- Joey Tribbiani: Ok, for next time, what do you say?
- Rachel Green: I have an extra ticket, an extra ticket, not two tickets. I have an extra ticket.
- Dr. Ross Geller: So the first time you asked a guy out he turned you down?
- Rachel Green: He didn't turn me down. He's at the game isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it.
- Rachel Green: [on the phone] Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped an eighty-year old woman put a thong on, and she didn't even buy it.
- Joey Tribbiani: Whoa, whoa, that was just a theory. There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. Lone Gunman. Communism. Geometry.
- Chandler Bing: OH MY GOD!
- Phoebe: Mon, do you still have like your old blouses and dresses from high school?
- Monica Geller: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
- Phoebe: Well it's just maternity clothes are so expensive.
- [while practicing asking Joshua out]
- Rachel Green: Would you like to go to a basketball game with... You know it's funny, basketball, because I happen to have... Who like the Kni...
- [Joshua enters the room]
- Phoebe: How was Kathy's play?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good looking guy.
- Chandler Bing: It's like somebody literally wrote down my worst nightmare and charged me $32 to see it.
- [talking about her new client]
- Rachel Green: He's got the most beautiful name. I never realized. Joshua. Josh - Ua. Joshua.
- Monica Geller: Are you out of a job?
- Rachel Green: No, they stuck me in Personal Shopping, which is just a huge step down.
- Phoebe: Personal Shopping, what is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?.. That sounds great!