- Monica: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your playboys. Ross did!
- Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did!
- Monica: Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year!
- Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
- Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced... again!
- Phoebe: I love Jacques Cousteau!
- Rachel: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!
- Joey: I wanna go!
- Judy Geller: That's a lot of information to get in thirty seconds!
- Ross: It tastes like feet!
- Joey Tribbiani: Well, I like it.
- Ross: Are you kidding?
- Joey Tribbiani: I mean, what's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!
- Chandler: Why wouldn't your parents be happy that we're living together?
- Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they don't like you. I'm sorry.
- Chandler: What? What? Why?
- Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you're really sarcastic, or that, you know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
- Chandler: Is this why they don't like me or why you don't like me?
- Judy Geller: I think he's stoned again.
- Chandler, Monica: What?
- Ross: Dude, I need to talk to ya a sec.
- [Chandler and Ross go into Rachels former bedroom]
- Ross: Okay, I think I know why my parents don't like you.
- Chandler: Yeah?
- Ross: Okay, we were in college. Spring break. Sophomore year. I got high and my parents came in and smellt it so I said you had smoked it and jumped out the window.
- Chandler: What?
- Ross: Oh come on man. How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college? Let alone you living with my sister?
- Chandler: What about that whole friends forever stuff?
- Ross: I don't know I was all high.
- Monica: [Monica enters] Mom and Dad just sent me in here to find out if you were trying to get Ross stoned.
- Chandler: Ross smoked pot in college and he blamed it on me.
- Monica: Ross! I can't believe you'd do that.
- Chandler: The reason we haven't told them we're together is cause they hate me. So will you fix this please?
- Ross: Fine, I'll tell them it wasn't Chandler who was smoking the pot. Who should I say it was?
- Monica: You! Doesn't matter its not like you still do it.
- Ross: Okay, who should I say "tricked me" into doing it.
- Monica: No one. You go out there and you tell them exactly what happened.
- Ross: Really?
- Monica: Yes.
- Chandler: Anything else I should know?
- Ross: No. Wait ya. Uh, you melted a bunch of my Dad's records.
- Ross: [fake chuckle] Why?
- Ross: Evidently you weren't good at handling your 'high.'
- Judy Geller: Chandler! You've been Ross' best friend all this years, stuck by and during the drug problems
- [Ross walks away, upset]
- Judy Geller: And now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.
- Chandler: [Surprised and glad] Thank you!
- Jack Geller: No, thank you. And Monica and Ross, I don't know what I'm gonna do about the two of you.
- [Ross and Monica are embarassed]
- Chandler: I'll talk to them.
- Ross: Meat on a dessert? That is not possible.
- Joey Tribbiani: I know, and only one layer of jam? What is up with that?
- Rachel: You guys, it was bananas, cream and beef. I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldn't feel bad.
- Monica: Actually, I didn't eat mine. It's still in the bathroom.
- Joey: No, it isn't. I ate that.
- Judy Geller: Oh, we left ours in Monica's bedroom.
- Joey: Nope, got it, and got yours, too!
- Joey: You're whippin' so slow! Can't you do it any faster?
- Rachel: Joey, come on! I don't want to make any mistakes. All right, this is the only desert, and if I screw it up, everybody's gonna be like: "Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?"
- [Joey gives her an understanding look]
- Rachel: Okay? So why don't you just let me worry about making the trifle, and you just worry about eating it?
- Joey: Oh, I am!
- Judy Geller: Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead.
- [Phoebe makes a sad face]
- Judy Geller: Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
- Jack Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
- Judy Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
- Jack Geller: What happened, son?
- Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
- Rachel: It's it beautiful?
- Ross: Yeah, what is it?
- Rachel: It's a trifle! You see, it's got all of these layers. First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard - which I made from scratch - then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sautéed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, then bananas and I put some whipped cream on top!
- Ross: ...what was that one right before the bananas?
- Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me too, but then I thought, well, there's minced meat pie, that's an English dessert. These people just put very strange things in their food.