- Chandler Bing: Out, out, out! Get out! Take your stupid small fruit and get out!
- Eddie Menuek: You want me to move out.
- Chandler Bing: Uh-huh!
- Eddie Menuek: Wow! I gotta tell you man, that's kinda out of the blue.
- Chandler Bing: It's not out of the blue. This is smack dab in the middle of the blue!
- Chandler Bing: Ding-dong the psycho's gone.
- Monica Geller: Are you sure?
- Chandler Bing: Yes, I actually saw him leave this time. I mean right now that guy is... standing in the window holding a human head! He's standing in the window holding a human head!
- Rachel Green: How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
- Dr. Ross Geller: You - You know I don't ha - have a problem with that.
- Chandler Bing: Have we met?
- Eddie Menuek: It's Eddie, you freak, your roommate.
- Chandler Bing: I'm sorry, I already have a roommate.
- Joey Tribbiani: Hello.
- Chandler Bing: He's lived here for years. I don't know what you're talking about, man.
- Eddie Menuek: No, he moved out and I moved in.
- Chandler Bing: But, I think I'd remember something like that.
- Joey Tribbiani: I know I would.
- Eddie Menuek: Oh, that's a good point. Um, Ok, well I guess I got the wrong apartment then.
- Dr. Ross Geller: [about a book Rachel read] I don't know. It has trees and wind and some kind of sacred pool. I don't get it, but she's pretty upset by it.
- Joey Tribbiani: This is why I don't date women who read.
- [Chandler is sleeping on Monica and Rachel's couch to avoid Eddie watching him sleep]
- Chandler Bing: [wakes up and sees Monica looking at him] What is it with people watching me sleep? There will be no more watching me sleep!
- Monica Geller: I wasn't...
- Chandler Bing: No more watching!
- Dr. Ross Geller: Uh, Sweetie, we've got to go.
- Rachel Green: NO!
- Dr. Ross Geller: No?
- Rachel Green: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your timetable.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable.
- Rachel Green: [after Rachel, Monica and Phoebe made up in Central Perk] So are we good?
- Monica Geller: We're good.
- Phoebe Buffay: Uh... huh!
- Phoebe Buffay: We're good?
- Monica Geller: Yeah!
- Rachel Green: OK! Let me take these cakes back 'cause they're going to take that out of my paycheck.
- [And Rachel takes back the two pieces of cake she had brought to her friends as gifts, previously]
- Chandler Bing: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?
- Eddie Menuek: [laughs] Vaguely.
- Chandler Bing: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
- Eddie Menuek: [laughs] Yes.
- Chandler Bing: So what happened?
- Eddie Menuek: We took a roadtrip to Las Vegas, man!
- Monica Geller: So on this "roadtrip" did you win any money?
- Eddie Menuek: Nah, crapped out, but Mr. 21 here cleans up 300 bucks, buys me this new pair of shoes. Sweet, huh?
- Monica Geller: Yeah.
- Eddie Menuek: Well see ya pals!
- [exits]
- Phoebe Buffay: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
- Chandler Bing: [rolling over in bed] Hi Eddie... Eddie? What are you doing here?
- Eddie Menuek: Watching you sleep. It makes me feel peaceful. Please.
- Chandler Bing: I can't sleep now!
- Eddie Menuek: Oh, would you like me to sing you a lullaby?
- Eddie Menuek: I got us a new fish. He's a lot feistier than the last one.
- Chandler Bing: Maybe because the last one was made by Pepridge Farm.
- Monica Geller: Danny Orshack 9th grade, oh come on Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
- Rachel Green: Only because you took up half the circle.
- Joey Tribbiani: Anybody want a cruller?
- Phoebe Buffay: You see? This is a typical Lightning Bearer thing. It's like "Hello, who wants one of my falic shaped man cakes?"
- Joey Tribbiani: [looks at cruller] Who've you been dating?
- Phoebe Buffay: You are such a leaf blower!
- Rachel Green: Pool drainer!
- Monica Geller: Twig snapper!
- Rachel Green: Monkey butt!
- Monica Geller: That's not in the book!
- Rachel Green: No, but that's what you are!
- Monica Geller: [to Phoebe] What about the puppet guy?
- Rachel Green: Yeah! You like totally let him wash his feet in the Pool of Your Inner Power!
- Monica Geller: And his puppet, too!
- Rachel Green: [taking a "Goddess Quiz"] Number 29: "Have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightening bearer?"... I would have to say "no."
- Monica Geller: And I would have to say "P-ha!"
- Phoebe Buffay: Okay, question number twenty-eight: "have you ever allowed a Lightning Bearer to take your wind?" I would have to say "no".
- Monica Geller: [with an "is she kidding?" look] And I would have to say "puh-HUH!"
- Joey Tribbiani: I don't know if you heard, but they killed off my character on the show.
- Gunther: That's too bad. How did they do it?
- Joey Tribbiani: I fell down an elevator shaft.
- Gunther: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
- Joey Tribbiani: What?
- Gunther: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.
- Rachel Green: This book could have been called "Be Your Own Windkeeper, Rachel"!
- Phoebe Buffay: I don't think it would have sold 13 million copies then, but it would have made a nice gift for you.
- Rachel Green: [after Monica and Phoebe tell her about "Be Your Own Wind Keeper"] Oh, so it's a little like "The Hobbit."
- Monica Geller: It is nothing like "The Hobbit!"