- William 'Will' Smith: Phillip!
- Philip Banks: Vivian!
- Vivian Banks: Philllippp!
- Philip Banks: Vivian!
- William 'Will' Smith: WILMA!
- Philip Banks: Get up! Hurry, everybody, get up!
- William 'Will' Smith: Yo, what's the matter, Uncle Phi...
- [screams]
- Philip Banks: Calm down, Will, calm down. It's Vivian, she's having the baby.
- William 'Will' Smith: That ain't what's scaring me. You ain't got no drawers on!
- Janice: What happened to Hilary?
- Viola 'Vy' Smith: Hilary Violet Banks! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!
- Nurse: My hand!
- Carlton Banks: I'm pretty sure Mom's been here.
- William 'Will' Smith: I mean, getting woke up in the middle of the night by a naked man running around the house.
- Geoffrey: I'm sorry, I thought you were all asleep.
- William 'Will' Smith: Not you, G.
- Geoffrey: Oh, never mind.
- Ashley Banks: Poor Mom.
- William 'Will' Smith: Poor Mom? Poor me! I saw Uncle Phil naked! And he was running!
- Vivian Banks: Ashley, you can't drive!
- Ashley Banks: Oh, grow up. I've been taking the car since I was 12.
- William 'Will' Smith: If you don't let me use your phone, I'll start singing Paula Abdul's greatest hits.
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Uncle Phil] You the man! You the man!
- [the elevator breaks down]
- William 'Will' Smith: You the Big Man who broke the elevator.
- Hilary Banks: I can't go into a hospital looking like this. The place is full of doctors.
- Viola 'Vy' Smith: Hilary, please don't tell me you're that superficial.
- Hilary Banks: Well, it may be superficial to you, but I'm young. I can still get a husband.
- Viola 'Vy' Smith: Not without any teeth, you won't.
- Carlton Banks: That girl wanted me, Aunt Janice.
- Janice: Carlton, when a woman says, "Drop dead, troll", it usually means she's not interested.
- [Vivian once again rings the bell, annoying everyone]
- Philip Banks, Hilary Banks, Viola 'Vy' Smith, William 'Will' Smith, Janice, Carlton Banks: Stop with the damn bell!
- Philip Banks: [after the baby is born] Hello, little Nicholas Andrew Banks.
- Vivian Banks: Honey, I thought we agreed to call him Philip.
- Hilary Banks: Ugh, that's a stupid name.