- William 'Will' Smith: [about Aunt Viv being home all the time] Having her home all the time is great. She picks our clothes out for us, makes our lunches, cuts the crust off the ends of our bread. That woman must be stopped!
- Philip Banks: [walks in after exercising] That diet and exercise regimen your mother put me on has really changed my life. It's nice having her home more. She wakes up cheerful every morning, leaves little love notes in my briefcase, calls me up at work just to chat. That woman must be stopped!
- William 'Will' Smith: [about Geoffrey's new work uniform] Is that G or Phillip Michael Thomas?
- Geoffrey: I take it you're referring to this charming uniform your aunt insisted I wear. It is my only humble opinion, but that woman must be stopped.
- Vivian Banks: Sonya, would you like anything.
- Sonya Lamor: Oh, I'm stuffed darling, I couldnt eat a thing. Except for that chocolate cake over there, can I have a teensy, weensy piece please.
- [Vivian hands her a tiny piece]
- Sonya Lamor: Oh, I said a little piece, not a crumb.
- Hilary Banks: There is just something I'm dying to know.
- Sonya Lamor: Yes, I did it. And he deserved to be slapped.
- Philip Banks: [telephone rings and Will answers it] I've never felt better since I've been on this diet of exercise and healthy food.
- William 'Will' Smith: [hangs up phone] Uncle Phil, that was for you. They said you left your wallet at the donut depot.
- Geoffrey: [to Aunt Viv] Madam, I have some distressing news. Your heirloom silverware is missing and someone's stolen my new uniform.
- Vivian Banks: What?
- Philip Banks: It's probably just misplaced. Let's split up and search for it.
- Geoffrey: Don't trouble yourselves. I'll just go back to wearing my old uniform.
- Carlton Banks: The silverware wasn't in the basement, but I found Geoffrey's new uniform crammed behind the hot water heater.
- Geoffrey: The scoundrels must have ditched it in the haste to escape!