- Dr. Niles Crane: How's it going?
- Frasier: Well, let me see, what have you missed? Clint told us about how he learned to fly a plane, and then he recited a sonnet and, oh yes, he fixed my ice machine and he invented a new drink; the "Pink Webber!" I've got Daphne drawing a bath right now; in case the party starts to lag, we can invite him to walk on water, liven things up a bit.
- [all the male employees at the station are jealous of the new radio host, an impossibly handsome man]
- Gil Chesterson: I must confess, I didn't notice he was all that handsome.
- [stunned silence]
- Roz: You didn't notice? You of all people?
- Gil Chesterson: Just what are you insinuating?
- Roz: Well, you know, that you're a little, er...
- Gil Chesterson: For your information, I happen to be a happily married man.
- [stunned silence]
- Frasier: You're... married?
- Bulldog: To a woman?
- Gil Chesterson: Of course to a woman! You've all heard me mention Deb. Well, how often have I said, "I must be running along now, Deb will be waiting"?
- Roz: We thought Deb was your cat.
- Gil Chesterson: She is not a cat! She is Mrs. Gilbert Leslie Chesterton, a Sarah Lawrence graduate, and the owner of a very successful auto body repair shop. Honestly, the conclusions people make, just because a man dresses well and knows how to use a pastry bag!
- [he exits]
- Frasier: Well, that's the first time I've ever seen a man "in" himself.
- Robert: [to Daphne] On your way out you will see a sign on the door saying "Please come again." Disregard it!
- Daphne Moon: Oh, I think these biscuits are mismarked.
- Clerk: No, that's correct.
- Daphne Moon: $14.99 for that little tin?
- Clerk: Oh I see we have another member of the PRICE CLUB!
- Daphne Moon: I can get these for 80p back home.
- Clerk: You realize I had to fly them over.
- Daphne Moon: What'd you do, buy them a seat on the Concord?
- Robert: [to Niles, who is tasting cheese with his eyes closed] Now for a difficult one.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Firm, velvety rind, a bit smokey, mmm... applewood, I think.
- Robert: Oui.
- Martin Crane: This is what I get for sending you to sleep-away camp in France!
- Dr. Niles Crane: [realizing] Oh, is it Reblochon?
- Robert: You are good, Dr. Crane.
- Martin Crane: Yeah, he's a regular cheese whiz!
- Dr. Niles Crane: At some point we all run into someone who's our superior.
- Frasier: Oh, it's just that I've never dealt with this sort of thing before.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Never?
- Frasier: I can see how that could be baffling to you, as my younger brother, you've dealt with this sort of thing all your life.
- Dr. Niles Crane: At least we know he won't out shine you in the egomania department.