Frasier (TV Series)

The Perfect Guy (1998)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Niles Crane : How's it going?

  Frasier : Well, let me see, what have you missed? Clint told us about how he learned to fly a plane, and then he recited a sonnet and, oh yes, he fixed my ice machine and he invented a new drink; the "Pink Webber!" I've got Daphne drawing a bath right now; in case the party starts to lag, we can invite him to walk on water, liven things up a bit.

• [all the male employees at the station are jealous of the new radio host, an impossibly handsome man] 

  Gil Chesterson : I must confess, I didn't notice he was all that handsome.

  [stunned silence] 

  Roz : You didn't notice? You of all people?

  Gil Chesterson : Just what are you insinuating?

  Roz : Well, you know, that you're a little, er...

  Gil Chesterson : For your information, I happen to be a happily married man.

  [stunned silence] 

  Frasier : You're... married?

  Bulldog : To a woman?

  Gil Chesterson : Of course to a woman! You've all heard me mention Deb. Well, how often have I said, "I must be running along now, Deb will be waiting"?

  Roz : We thought Deb was your cat.

  Gil Chesterson : She is not a cat! She is Mrs. Gilbert Leslie Chesterton, a Sarah Lawrence graduate, and the owner of a very successful auto body repair shop. Honestly, the conclusions people make, just because a man dresses well and knows how to use a pastry bag!

  [he exits] 

  Frasier : Well, that's the first time I've ever seen a man "in" himself.

• Roz : I can't work with a guy that handsome...! No offense.

  Frasier : Oh, none taken. Granted, when it comes to looks, Dr. Webber and I aren't in the same...

  Roz : Species?

  Frasier : Well, I was going to say "league," but "species" is so much more insulting!

• Dr. Niles Crane : At some point we all run into someone who's our superior.

  Frasier : Oh, it's just that I've never dealt with this sort of thing before.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Never?

  Frasier : I can see how that could be baffling to you, as my younger brother, you've dealt with this sort of thing all your life.

  Dr. Niles Crane : At least we know he won't out shine you in the egomania department.