Frasier (TV Series)

She's the Boss (1995)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Daphne Moon : What are you doing up so early?

  Frasier : Oh, the new station manager's taking over today. She wanted to meet with all of us.

  Martin Crane : 'She'? Oh, working for a woman, huh?

  Frasier : Yes. Why?

  Martin Crane : Well, it's tough on guys, taking orders from a woman. We resent it.

  Frasier : That's absurd. If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick would never have been conceived.

• Frasier : [Eddie is barking at the dog upstairs]  Oh, for God's sake, I am trying to get some sleep! I asked you to keep that dog quiet, and instead you outfit him with a megaphone! In the last thirty-six hours I haven't had so much as a nap, and I've got to be back at the station by 2 A.M.

  [stares at Eddie] 

  Frasier : Eddie, listen carefully. By the time this day is up, one of us is going to sleep.

  [Eddie ducks his head] 

  Daphne Moon : Oh, don't worry, Dr. Crane, I'll take Eddie for a walk. And as far as your problem at work goes, if you want my opinion...

  Frasier : DON'T! I've had my share of women's opinions for the week, between the station's new Reich Chancellor and Roz's incessant whining! As far as I'm concerned, your entire sex can put a sock in it!

  [stomps off to his room] 

  Martin Crane : Boy, you'd never let me get away with a comment like that.

  Daphne Moon : [gets up and goes to the door]  Oh, even the best of us can get a bit cranky when we're overtired. All Dr. Crane needs right now is a little peace and quiet. Eddie?

  [she sticks two fingers in her mouth and blasts a shrill whistle] 

  Frasier : [from his room]  Damn it!

• Dr. Niles Crane : Hello, Fraiser, dad, Daphne. I can't stay. I just wanted to ask a favor. Dad, can I borrow your gun?

  Martin Crane : Maris taking singing lessons again?

  Dr. Niles Crane : No. Our home security system is down for repairs, and no electric gates. I'll just feel safer if I'm packing heat.

  Frasier : Oh, for heaven's sake, Niles. You don't even know how to pack a lunch.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, please. Maris is a wreck ever since she found out our entire neighborhood watch is wintering in Palm Beach.

  Martin Crane : Forget it. You don't know the first thing about guns.

  Dr. Niles Crane : I do so. I promise I'll open the spinny thing and check for bullets before I shoot anybody.

• Martin Crane : You bought a starter's pistol?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes. You see, as long as Maris thinks it's real, it makes her feel secure, but this way no one can get hurt.

  [Niles accidentally fires the pistol and jumps on Frasier's couch in fright] 

  Frasier : [running in from his bedroom]  What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?

  Dr. Niles Crane : [casually]  Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?

  Frasier : Just getting up? Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!

  Martin Crane : [trying to placate Frasier]  Niles bought a starter's pistol.

  Dr. Niles Crane : And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.

  Frasier : Oh, I'm sorry, was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

  Martin Crane : Niles, you really shouldn't have *any* kind of gun. And for that matter, now that Mr. Sunshine is home all day, maybe *I* shouldn't either.

• Martin Crane : [refusing Niles' request to borrow his service weapon]  I don't believe in civilians having guns.

  Dr. Niles Crane : This isn't fair! Maris' mother gave her a gun.

  Martin Crane : Well, then Maris' mother can clean up the mess after she accidentally blows your brains out.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, now you're talking nonsense. Maris' mother has never cleaned anything in her life.