Frasier (TV Series)

She's the Boss (1995)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Niles Crane : Hello, Fraiser, dad, Daphne. I can't stay. I just wanted to ask a favor. Dad, can I borrow your gun?

  Martin Crane : Maris taking singing lessons again?

  Dr. Niles Crane : No. Our home security system is down for repairs, and no electric gates. I'll just feel safer if I'm packing heat.

  Frasier : Oh, for heaven's sake, Niles. You don't even know how to pack a lunch.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, please. Maris is a wreck ever since she found out our entire neighborhood watch is wintering in Palm Beach.

  Martin Crane : Forget it. You don't know the first thing about guns.

  Dr. Niles Crane : I do so. I promise I'll open the spinny thing and check for bullets before I shoot anybody.

• Martin Crane : You bought a starter's pistol?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes. You see, as long as Maris thinks it's real, it makes her feel secure, but this way no one can get hurt.

  [Niles accidentally fires the pistol and jumps on Frasier's couch in fright] 

  Frasier : [running in from his bedroom]  What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?

  Dr. Niles Crane : [casually]  Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?

  Frasier : Just getting up? Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!

  Martin Crane : [trying to placate Frasier]  Niles bought a starter's pistol.

  Dr. Niles Crane : And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.

  Frasier : Oh, I'm sorry, was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

  Martin Crane : Niles, you really shouldn't have *any* kind of gun. And for that matter, now that Mr. Sunshine is home all day, maybe *I* shouldn't either.

• Martin Crane : [refusing Niles' request to borrow his service weapon]  I don't believe in civilians having guns.

  Dr. Niles Crane : This isn't fair! Maris' mother gave her a gun.

  Martin Crane : Well, then Maris' mother can clean up the mess after she accidentally blows your brains out.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Dad, now you're talking nonsense. Maris' mother has never cleaned anything in her life.