- Steven Keaton: [discussing Rob] When did you become so wise about people, Alex?
- Alex P. Keaton: Well, Dad, I know a lot about conservative, financial-type older brothers. It's my specialty.
- Steven Keaton: How'd we grow so far apart, Rob?
- Robert Keaton: I don't know. One day, you were my little brother, tagging after me with a bat and a ball, shouting, "pitch 'em in. Pitch 'em in. " Next year, this snot-nosed, know-it-all teenager telling me what a terrible human being I was and how my values were all wrong.
- Steven Keaton: You always pitched 'em in to me, didn't you, Rob? Even when you were with your friends, the big guys, you always found a minute to come over and pitch in a few.
- Steven Keaton: [tests a spoonful of food] This is too hot.
- May Keaton: Here, I'll cool it off a spoonful at a time.
- [blows on the spoon]
- Steven Keaton: Mom! I'm 40 years old.