- Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it.
- Steve Urkel: [in the video game Grandma Ninja] Hi there!
- [tosses the ninja left and right]
- Steve Urkel: Have some cheese!
- [throws big wedges of cheddar at the ninja]
- Steve Urkel: Have some cheese! Have some cheese!
- [defeats the ninja]
- Steve Urkel: Did I do that?
- Steve Urkel: That's not milk, it's glue!
- Eddie Winslow: Glue? What's it doing in the fridge?
- Steve Urkel: Staying cold, it hardens at room temperature. Didn't you read my memo? 'Glue - Sticky - May clog colon'!
- Eddie Winslow: Steve, you posted so many memos, I quit reading them.
- Steve Urkel: You did? Well, I'll be posting a memo about that.
- Carl Winslow: $450 for a bottle of champagne? Edward, were you drinking?
- Eddie Winslow: No sir, I got it for her.
- [gestures to Yvette]
- Carl Winslow: [sees her] Well, at least you had a good excuse.
- Steve Urkel: [Laura has a green beauty mask superglued on] Now don't worry, Laura, one or two simple jerks should get this right off your face.
- Laura Winslow: Good, because two simple jerks got it *on* my face.
- Eddie Winslow: I know basketball.
- Steve Urkel: Well so do I! I follow the games, I read the statistics, and I'm telling you, Dennis Rodman plays better with *purple* hair!