- Harriette Winslow: Uh, what's going on here?
- Laura Winslow: First he put on that stupid kilt. Then he made a stupid bet that he could bowl a stupid strike with his stupid foot. Then he got his stupid toe caught in the stupid ball!
- Steve Urkel: Well, it could happen to anyone.
- Laura Winslow: Oh, don't be stupid.
- Steve Urkel: Kids, come over here and introduce yourselves to boompa!
- Steven Aloysius Urkel: I'm Steven Aloysius Urkel!
- Steven Bertram Urkel: I'm Steven Bertram Urkel.
- Steven Cornelius Urkel: I'm Steven Cornelius Urkel!
- Stephanie Sue Urkel: [a white girl] I'm Stephanie Sue Urkel!
- Carl Winslow: [to Steve, taken aback] Stephanie?
- Steve Urkel: Oh she's adopted.
- Carl Winslow: No kidding!