Lisa Whelchel: Blair Warner

Quotes 

• Natalie Green : Have you been sexually active lately?

  Blair : Is that on the form?

  Natalie Green : No, but I thought I'd ask.

• Natalie Green : Name?

  Blair Warner : Whoopie Goldberg. You know my name.

  Natalie Green : Address, Miss Goldberg?

  Blair Warner : Natalie, you've known me for eight years. You're probably wearing my pantyhose!

  Natalie Green : I'm just trying to do this by the book, Blair. And I borrowed this pair from Tootie.

• Blair Warner : Jo, you're not suggesting I stick the Warner hands in refried beans, are you?

  Jo Polniaczek : I'm suggesting you stick them in something if you want to graduate.

  Natalie Green : Wait a minute! If you're talking about our student trainee program, forget it. This is my first management job, and I don't wanna risk it. I need someone who knows the meaning of work.

  Blair Warner : Well, that leaves me out.

  Andy Moffett : Play it smart, Blair, with Natalie helping you, it will be an easy A.

  Blair Warner : [smiles shrewdly, then looks at Natalie with different eyes]  Natalie, before you reject me out of hand, think of the fun.

  [swings Natalie's hand] 

  Blair Warner : Just you and I, standing shoulder to shoulder over all that Mexican stuff! Sharing an occasional laugh.

  [inserts some fake chuckling] 

  Blair Warner : Together, feeding a hungry nation.

  Jo Polniaczek : If you start singing We Are The World, I'm leaving.

  Natalie Green : [to Blair]  Okay, but don't expect any favors. This job means graduation to you, to me it's survival. Be prepared to put your nose to the grindstone.

  [as she turns to leave, adding with emphasis:] 

  Natalie Green : Again.

  Blair Warner : [whimsical sigh]  The things I do to graduate.

  [then, realizing she'd been slighted, calls after Natalie:] 

  Blair Warner : This is my real nose!

  [touches it] 

• Blair Warner : I couldn't sell an economy car with a clear consience.

• Blair : [enters the Mexican fast food outlet]  Hello. This is a dump. Yes, a quaint dump!

  Natalie Green : Blair, what are you doing, so dressed up?

  Blair : I'm ready for work. Where's my office?

• Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey : [pointing out reluctant wearer of Mexican outfit complete with sombrero]  There's Blair.

  Jo Polniaczek : [gleefully]  There is a God. Hey, Cisco, can we have a couple of menus?

  Blair Warner : They're on the counter!

  Jo Polniaczek : I know. That's why I need them over here!

• Mrs. Webster : [difficult patron]  And don't forget my water! I have a tendency to pass out if I don't get it.

  Blair Warner : I wish.

• Mrs. Webster : [irate customer]  Listen, chippie, I've been coming here since before you were blonde. No one ever insulted me like that.

  Blair Warner : Oh, yeah? How *did* they insult you?

• Blair Warner : Yeah, but don't worry. I called Mr. Simmons and he's gonna give her her job back.

  Jo Polniaczek : [wryly sarcastic]  Based on your close personal relationship with him.

  Blair Warner : No, I merely told him that my father was chairman of Warner Industries, and he was looking for someone to head up his ITD. International Taco Division.

  Jo Polniaczek : Is that true?

  Blair Warner : Well, he is my father. And he is the chairman. Two out of three isn't bad.

  Jo Polniaczek : You Warnered your way out of another one.

  Blair Warner : I didn't do this for me. I did it for Natalie. Poor kid earns her living. She deserves a second chance.

• Blair : [trainee waitress decked out all Mexican, sombrero and all]  How come you don't have to dress like this?

  Natalie Green : I'm the Assistant Manager, I can't look like a fool!

• Blair : All right, I understand. But you don't have to treat me like a total incompetent.

  Natalie Green : I never used the word 'total'.