- Ari's Wife: [Mrs Ari has caught Ari trying to sneak out of the house] Where are you going, Ari?
- Ari Gold: I have a meeting.
- Ari's Wife: At the Playboy Mansion?
- [looks at pajamas sticking out of Ari's slacks]
- Ari Gold: Playboy Mansion, strip clubs, whorehouses, that's where the meetings are. It's my fucking job.
- Ari's Wife: I want three weeks in the south of France with the children.
- Ari Gold: Oh, my God, baby,
- [cups her face and kisses her]
- Ari Gold: of course you can go.
- Ari's Wife: With you. And if you're not home by 2AM, I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming 'Ari Gold, super agent, forgot his Viagra.'
- Ari Gold: [on pins and needles to go] It's all good.
- Turtle: [Johnny is afraid he's going to miss out on the Mansion party] Hey, don't worry, we'll bring you back a Playmate doggie bag.
- Vincent Chase: Oh, come on, guys, if Johnny doesn't go, none of us goes.
- Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Thanks, bro.
- Ari Gold: I know you don't wanna hear this right now. I had an amazing meeting at Warner's.
- Vincent Chase: Oh, Ari... *Pleez* don't ruin the Mansion.
- Ari Gold: You wanna hear this, believe me.
- Vincent Chase: You know what I wanna hear? I wanna hear what the lovely Hef girls have to say.
- [Hugh Hefner's three live-in girlfriends are standing behind them]
- Vincent Chase: Look at how rude you are with your back to these lovely ladies.
- Ari Gold: Ah, they're better to look at than listen to.
- [to the trio:]
- Ari Gold: What have you got? Sorry. What have you got for us?
- Playmate: So what does the middle A stand for, Ari? Arrogant?
- Ari Gold: [humors them by laughing] Ah guh guh!
- Playmate: Abrasive?
- Playmate: Argumentative?
- Eric Murphy: Annoying?
- Vincent Chase: Asshole?
- Ari Gold: Et tu, Vinny? Et tu?
- Eric Murphy: [on phone] What's up?
- Ari Gold: Yeah, I just had a tete-a-tete with Hef.
- Eric Murphy: How did it go?
- Ari Gold: The good news is I sold Playboy TV to North Korea, Kim Jong, he'll love Night Calls; bad news is your boy, Drama, will not be joining us
- Eric Murphy: You know, Ari, you carry about as much weight as Lara Flynn Boyle.
- Ari Gold: Listen, a lifetime ban is a lifetime ban. Where are we without our integrity?
- Hugh Hefner: [Johnny insists it was Ralph who freed the monkeys, and Ralph denies] Well, you guys better decide who it was, or you're both outa here!
- Vincent Chase: [there's a problem with his brother's Mansion invite] Oh, don't worry, Johnny, you ought to be doing laps in the grotto. Right, E?
- Eric Murphy: Yeah, Shauna's called Hef's people to find out what Drama's drama is this time.
- Johnny 'Drama' Chase: I didn't *do* anything!
- Vincent Chase: [late at night at Playboy Mansion] Don't you need to go back to your wife?
- Ari Gold: No! I make the Goddamn rules.
- [adding softly:]
- Ari Gold: I've got till two.