- [Charley has just returned from his cousin Max's funeral]
- Charley Dietz: Listening to all those people talking about what a great guy Max was made me realize that when I die... nobody will care.
- Dr. Harry Weston: Charley, that's not true!
- Carol Weston: Of course it's not.
- Charley Dietz: Oh, sure! Like you're gonna miss me.
- Carol Weston: Charley, just because we've had a difficult relationship in the past doesn't mean that... daddy wont miss you. Right, daddy?
- Dr. Harry Weston: Absolutely.
- Carol Weston: And Sophia will miss you. Wont you, Sophia?
- Sophia Petrillo: Yeah... yeah... . Pass the ketchup.
- Carol Weston: Come on now, Sophia. You'd remember Charley if he died.
- Sophia Petrillo: Are you kidding? I can't even remember why I needed the ketchup.
- Charley Dietz: Hey, just because I sit around in my pyjamas all day waiting to die doesn't mean I have problems.