- Mary Lou Pringle: [Bo and Luke enter the house] Luke!
- [she and Daisy run over, Daisy hugs Bo, she hugs Luke]
- Daisy Duke: Oh am I glad to see you fellas!
- Bo Duke: What happened?
- Daisy Duke: Well that chandelier fell and just missed us!
- Mary Lou Pringle: That chair's been chasing me, the painting's been bleeding, organ's been playing and wolves have been howling!
- Luke Duke: [climbing out the driver's side of the General Lee] Lordy, how he gets out of that side of the car I'll never know.
- Mary Lou Pringle: [about Luke] Doesn't anybody believe him?
- Cletus: I believe him.
- Boss Hogg: Yeah, that's cuz instead of brains in your head, you got funny putty!
- [first lines]
- The Balladeer: [voice-over] It was one of them unusually peaceable Sundays in Hazzard County.
- [Bo and Luke are in the General Lee, Luke is whistling casually]
- The Balladeer: So unusual, the Duke boys hadn't even gotten into trouble... yet.
- Daisy Duke: [on CB, from Boars Nest] Breader, breaker! Bo, Luke, do you copy? This is your kissing cousin callin'.
- Luke Duke: Wall-to-wall, ten feet tall, Cousin. Where you at?
- Daisy Duke: I'm at the Boars Nest and closing early. So I need a ride, fellas.
- Luke Duke: Say no more. We're on our way. Down and gone.
- Bo Duke: Hang on.
- [and the General's engine snarls]
- Daisy Duke: [comes out of Boars Nest] Hey.
- Luke Duke: Hi, Daisy, how you doin'?
- Daisy Duke: Pretty good.
- [wears hot pants that show off those long lithe legs]
- Luke Duke: What's the problem with Dixie?
- Daisy Duke: I had to take her to Cooter's. I need a little bodywork.
- Bo Duke: Well, you could've fooled me, darlin'.
- Daisy Duke: I thought I was the one with all the bad jokes.
- Bo Duke: [as Luke laughs] You are, you are.