- Luke Duke: [in cemetery, Daisy's seen hulking figure behind gravestone] Daisy, you know there ain't no such thing as ghosts.
- Daisy Duke: Yeah, I know it, and you know it, but does that there ghost know it? There he goes again! I'm gettin' out of here!
- [runs off]
- Enos: I sure am sorry, Daisy, to have to arrest you for body-snatching.
- Daisy Duke: Well, that's the silliest thing I ever heard tell of. In the Boars Nest, It's all I can do to keep the live bodies from snatching at me.
- Gail Flatt: Daddy, keep good thoughts.
- Henry Flatt: Honey, if you did what I used to for a living, you'd know that there ain't no such thing as miracles. Unless... a man makes his own miracles in this world.
- Boss Hogg: [Chinese foot massage recipient] Oh, Sin-Ko-San, you do that once more, and I'm gonna put your toes under arrest!
- The Balladeer: So far Boss' plan to frame Daisy was as flat as last week's beer. Which he is still selling at a premium price.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [gun pointed] All right, you... you dang Dukes! You just hold it right there. You're under arrest! Enos, what the heck are you doing slurping up buttermilk with these criminals?
- Daisy Duke: Rosco, you're beginning to sound like a broken record. Now I just told you a few minutes ago the body is not in my Jeep.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: No, of course it isn't. I just put it... uh... I just found it in the General Lee.
- [chortles]
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: I'm serious... Now I want you to get up real slow, because you're not gonna trick me again.
- [chortles some more]
- Bo Duke: We wouldn't think of it, Rosco.
- Daisy Duke: But I would.
- [pours the pitcher of beer over his head, drenching him completely]
- Daisy Duke: [graveyard has military hero to be buried there] Which means Hogg's Heaven can go plum to...
- [refrains from strong language use]
- Daisy Duke: But I reckon we all know what I mean.