- Boss Hogg: [to Coy and Vance] You don't expect a Sheriff to believe a cock and bull story like that, do you?
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Yeah, you think I'm as dumb as I look?
- Boss Hogg: Well, looks are deceiving.
- The Balladeer: [Coy is in the process of rescuing Bobby Lee from a pool of quicksand] ... I sure hope he handles *this* better than that fight!
- Boss Hogg: Wait a minute...
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: What?
- Boss Hogg: That ain't no Hero Sandwich.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: No. Eh, see, I went down to the Dixy Diner, but all the waitresses, they were gone.
- Boss Hogg: Where were they?
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Out to lunch.
- Boss Hogg: They don't eat at their place?
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Well, not if they can help it.
- Uncle Jesse: Well, Rosco's the only sheriff we got.
- Vance Duke: Well, don't let word of that get around, Uncle Jesse, or every crook in the country will be headed this way.
- Uncle Jesse: Will you get outta here!
- Vance Duke: Yes, sir.
- Uncle Jesse: Heh! Heh!