Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

The Mallardian Candidate (1996)

Jason Alexander: Eric Duckman

Quotes 

• Cornfed Pig : [trying to deprogram Duckman]  Government is a necessary structure to impose on an otherwise unruly society.

  Eric Duckman : No!

  Bernice : People WANT to do good.

  Eric Duckman : No!

  Mambo : Mankind has evolved into a highly intelligent lifeform.

  Eric Duckman : No!

  Ajax : The human body is not for eating.

  Eric Duckman : I can't take it anymore! You're right!

  Cornfed Pig : [later...]  All government is corrupt.

  Eric Duckman : No!

  Bernice : People are out to get you.

  Eric Duckman : No!

  Charles : Mankind is a self-destructive species that will kill itself off.

  Eric Duckman : No!

  Ajax : The human body is MOSTLY not for eating.

• Iggy Catalpa : Welcome to the World Domination League, the secret force behind every conspiracy: The death of Elvis, what REALLY happened to Monroe, Hendrix, Morrison.

  Eric Duckman : And... President Kennedy?

  Iggy Catalpa : No actually, that WAS a lone gunman. But everything else was us: The rise of communism, the fall of communism, getting prayers out of schools, getting sex on TV, the way pens don't work in the post office, the Olsen Twins.

• Eric Duckman : Wow! Nothing like being clubbed by a professional. You wake up clear-headed and refreshed, not like those sorority girls who think it's SOOO funny to drop a concrete block on a guy who just spent two hours snaking a periscope through a shower drain.