- Gus Hedges: You see, when it comes to sexual interfacing with the female gender group, I've always been caution-orientated due to ongoing problems of an adaptive nature regarding the gooiness factor on the physical front.
- Gus Hedges: I'm a sort of hands-off overview executive who sits at the sharp end and interacts within the office matrix.
- Lady Caroline: I see you have a gift for language.
- Gus Hedges: Thank you.
- Lady Caroline: Shame it isn't English.
- [first lines]
- Helen Cooper: Right, big story, the Portillo wants the private sector to run schools, police, prisons, hospital...
- Henry Davenport: Heed my words in five years time they will have replaced hospitals with branches of operations-r-us. And you'll get there on Liberian registered buses that pay toll to the local police franchise, called plod-you-like. Staffed by twelve year-old school leavers whose parents got behind with the mortgage on their kid's pencil and who are now doing times in Strangeways World of Adventure PLC. And all these bloody companies will be part of one giant consortium, whose board of directors will be headed by Michael "poxy" Portillo.
- [last lines]
- Gus Hedges: Yes, this is absolutely ridiculous. This sexual harassment must stop now. I mean it Henry. How dare anyone in this office use their power and influence to make sexual advances to these poor, terrified mesmerized, sexually inexperienced men. And women. And I hope that's clear. Anyway, just a thought.
- Helen Cooper: They don't like being called sweetheart, and darling. And plum-bum.
- Henry Davenport: Honestly, you can't pay a woman a complement these days.
- George Dent: Now Listen Henry, all Helen's trying to say is...
- Sally Smedley: Back off, you sick old perv!
- Damien Day: Joy, do you think you could call Gerry's wife for me? Only she tends to get hysterical when she hears my voice on the phone.