Doc Martin (TV Series)
The Portwenn Effect (2004)
Martin Clunes: Dr. Martin Ellingham
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : He locked me in his compound.
PC Mark Mylow : He locked you in?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well, there was a key but I didn't know it. I felt he forced me to have dinner with him and Anthony the squirrel.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : The man thinks he lives with a giant squirrel. He needs help.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : I'm only going to say this once. Firstly, antibiotics don't touch viruses. Secondly, even if you had a bacterial infection you'd be well advised to try and fight it on your own to build up some kind of natural immunity. Thirdly, we are noticing some bacterial strains becoming resistant to antibiotics in common usage due to the widespread overprescription by doctors like the late great Jim Sim dishing out antibiotics in all probability to whingers like you.
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Stewart James : They can't make good coffee there, it's just brown water.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : In my experience, you can get brown water from the tap.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well, there's the mystery of medicine. Everyone comes to you for an opinion but when you actually give them that opinion nobody really wants it, do they?
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PC Mark Mylow : That's easy for you to say - you haven't got my problem. You haven't got a date with the woman of your dreams.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Who's that?
PC Mark Mylow : Louisa.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : What makes you think that?
PC Mark Mylow : Think what?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : That the woman of my dreams... Louisa. Louisa is the woman of your dreams.
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PC Mark Mylow : I hope you don't mind me saying, that was a good call you made today. What you did with Stewart. I think the village'll appreciate it.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Then you won't mind me saying that I don't carry vitamin tablets but luckily for Stewart, you do.
PC Mark Mylow : What?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Your, um, enlargement tablets. Ascorbic acid, d-alpha tocopherol, prydoxine... they're multivitamins.
PC Mark Mylow : They can't... that's not ethical.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : You'll get over it. Big boy.
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PC Mark Mylow : I'll be right here if you need me. Hi, Stewart!
Dr. Martin Ellingham : I need you in there.
PC Mark Mylow : Technically I can't bring him in on a 136 unless I find him in a public place, that's the mental health act.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Why didn't you tell me?
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Stewart James : I've gone over the top, haven't I?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Yeah.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : The pills old Doctor Sim used to give you. You were taking them weren't you. Did they help?
Stewart James : Kept me just this side of Bodmin.
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Peter Cronk : People think I'm being rude, but I'm just saying what's in my head, you know.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Yeah. I do know.
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Elaine Denham : Did you hurt that dog? I love dogs.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Yeah, I love them too. I love the way they smell. I love the way they bite you. Dogs are the best.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : [finding the stray dog sitting outside the surgery] I thought you were going to...
PC Mark Mylow : I know. He got out. Had a good lawyer.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : You'll get over it, big boy.
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Stewart James : You must be Doc Martin.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : It's Dr Ellingham, actually.
Stewart James : Yeah, I heard you prefer your proper title. I thought surgeons prided themselves on just plain Mr.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : I'm no longer a surgeon.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : For the record, unless you're incapacitated you should come in to the surgery.
Stewart James : I can't really leave here during the day.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Let's hope you don't need a doctor then.
Stewart James : So it's true.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : It's true I don't appreciate having my time wasted if that's what you mean.
Stewart James : A man of your talent. Famously sharp mind. Portwenn must come as a bit of a shock. I bet half the village came in when you opened up just to see what you'd done with the place.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : They did.
Stewart James : Then there's the agressive unhelpfulness of that receptionist, oh, what's her name?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Elaine?
Stewart James : Yeah Elaine. And those girls. Those girls that just hang around giggling all the time.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : You're very perceptive.
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PC Mark Mylow : If you don't mind me saying, I think Portwenn's having an effect on you.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Then you won't mind me saying that I don't carry multivitamins, but luckily for Stewart you do.
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Elaine Denham : Your stuff's arrived at the pharmacy, you'd better go and get it.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Er, no, Elaine...
Elaine Denham : Just don't speak to me now, innit!