Dinosaurs (TV Series)
The Last Temptation of Ethyl (1992)
Stuart Pankin: Earl Sinclair
Quotes
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Charlene : [Ethyl's unconscious] Grandma, can you say something?
Robbie Sinclair : Hey look, look, I think she's coming around.
Earl Sinclair : No no no no no, no the hole's already dug, let's get on with it.
Ethyl Phillups : Not so fast fat boy.
[takes Earl's shovel and hits him in the face with it]
Earl Sinclair : [groans] I knew I should've had her cremated.
[falls down unconscious]
Ethyl Phillups : .Where am I?
Robbie Sinclair : Grandma, we brought you home from the station. We were worried.
Charlene : Yeah, we better call your producer, I mean he thought you were dead.
Ethyl Phillups : Let him think whatever he wants, I'm not going back.
Fran Sinclair : But why, Mom? I thought you loved talking about the afterlife.
Ethyl Phillups : I do, Fran, but if I'm ever gonna go back, I can't just sit around watching the grass grow. What I'm going to do is enjoy life and love each and every one of you... starting tomorrow.
Fran Sinclair : Why not today?
Ethyl Phillups : Because today, there's a perfectly good hole in the backyard and we're gonna bury fat boy in it.
Earl Sinclair : [comes around] What?
[Ethyl hits him with the shovel again and he's knocked unconscious]
Baby : Again!
[hits his toy dinosaur on the head with a toy shovel and laughs]
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Fran Sinclair : Earl, you're watching TV in here and mother's watching TV in there. Wouldn't it be nicer if you both watched TV together?
Earl : Only if the TV was crushing her head.
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Earl : [Earl is reading an apology card to Fran] What can I say? I've ruined your day / and made you all angry and surly / How could I make such a thoughtless mistake / And bury your mother, too early?
[Fran doesn't respond]
Earl : Aw, come on, Fran! They wouldn't make the card, if this didn't happen all the time!
-
Narrator : ...Ethyl's seemingly dead body was being buried by simple-minded son-in-law Earl, and his dim-witted friend Ray.
Roy Hess : Hey! That's an ourage! They got my name wrong.
Earl Sinclair : That is supposed to be me? That doesn't even look anything like me!
Baby : Not the mama!
Earl Sinclair : And why are we watching this show anyway? I wanna watch the puppet show on the other channel.
Fran Sinclair : That's a kid's show.
Earl Sinclair : Not so. They do some very sophisticated juxtapositions of reality.
Fran Sinclair : It'll last a year.
-
[Ethyl has died the second time and into the afterlife]
Louie : [echoing] Ethyl! Ethyl!
[Ethyl sees her late husband in a bubble]
Ethyl : Louie, is that really you?
Louie : Hiya, cupcake!
Ethyl : Oh, Louie it's so good to see you! Am I finally good and dead?
Louie : Not yet.
Ethyl : Oh, will you guys stop jerking my chain! I'm dead, I'm alive, I'm dead, I'm alive. If I wake up with dirt in my mouth again...
Louie : Take it easy, cupcake, they sent me here with a message: stop pushing the afterlife.
Ethyl : But Louie, it's so beautiful up here.
Louie : It's just as beautiful where you are, Ethyl. It's more beautiful, because it's life; and you only get a little bit of it. And if you don't live every day of your life to the fullest, you have an eternity to regret it.
Ethyl : But Louie, I miss you.
Louie : I miss you too, sweetheart. But it's not your time yet.
Ethyl : Will we be together, Louie?
Louie : Soon enough, cupcake, but you've got to go back now; and stop trying to make a buck off the afterlife. Dinosaurs who sell the afterlife may not ever see the afterlife. They may end up someplace not so nice. Look what's waiting for you.
[Louie shows Ethyl a door titled 'Place Not So Nice', as it opens, five replicas of Earl Sinclair are in the family room]
Earl : [five, in unison] Hi, Ethyl! Come on in!
Ethyl : [screams] *No*!