- Rob Petrie: [recalling his former maid Maria] We wanted a lady one day a week, and she moved in like she was gonna live there the rest of her life.
- Buddy Sorrell: That's exactly how I got my wife, Pickles.
- Manuel Rodriguez: But you can't expect me to marry Maria. She thinks I'm a coward.
- Laura Petrie: Well, SURE you can.
- Manuel Rodriguez: No, I can't. If SHE was a coward, I wouldn't marry HER.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, right now I haven't got the guts to go in there and tell that coward that he can't clean my house.
- Rob Petrie: I mean, for a guy who's supposed to be a bullfighter, he doesn't ACT like a guy who's supposed to be a bullfighter.
- Laura Petrie: Well, how should a bullfighter act?
- Rob Petrie: Well, not like him, honey. They... they're haughty, proud, mysterious - and they're brave. He saw a spider in the garage; I had to kill it - and I HATE 'em.
- Laura Petrie: So? So, he's not a spider fighter.
- Rob Petrie: You remember Maria, our Spanish maid.
- Sally Rogers: Oh yeah.
- Buddy Sorrell: She's the one with the broken arm and English to match.