- Emil: [asked to try on a fur coat] You wanna see the coat on me?
- Rob Petrie: Well, yeah.
- Emil: You in show business?
- Rob Petrie: Yeah.
- Emil: I don't go for that.
- Sally Rogers: Last year I was so embarrassed. My cat gave me a better present than I gave him.
- Buddy Sorrell: How could that be?
- Sally Rogers: I bought him a cheap leather collar and he gave me a beautiful dead mouse.
- Sally Rogers: You and your wholesale deals! Any time anybody buys anything, you always say, "Why didn't you call me? I could have gotten it for you wholesale."
- Rob Petrie: Did I act too good?
- Buddy Sorrell: Don't ask me. I'm still workin' on why the belly is the worst part.
- Rob Petrie: They know you're not Nunzio's wife.
- Laura Petrie: Well, then why do I say "I'm Nunzio's wife?"
- Rob Petrie: To identify yourself.
- Laura Petrie: Okay, okay. I'm Nunzio's wife. Now, who's Nunzio?
- Rob Petrie: He's the guy at the warehouse.
- Laura Petrie: I thought he was Tony Morello.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, Buddy is Tony Morello. I'm Mr. Zatini. You are Mrs. Vallani.
- Laura Petrie: Wait a minute. What's Nunzio's last name?
- Rob Petrie: Vallani.
- Laura Petrie: Oh, well, then I'm Mrs. Vallani. Who's Rudy?
- Rob Petrie: Uh, he's got a wart. That's all I know.