- Sally Rogers: He knows!
- Buddy Sorrell: He knows, he knows, but he don't know WHAT he knows, and we're gonna keep it that way.
- Rob Petrie: Boy, except for the boat and the native girls, this is the Paul Gauguin story all over again.
- Rob Petrie: Herbie's Hiawatha Lodge is... is their romantic hideaway.
- Laura Petrie: Rob, nothing will make me believe that.
- Rob Petrie: Nothin'll make me believe it either till I see it - and I gotta SEE it!
- Sally Rogers, Buddy Sorrell: We'll make a deal with all you folks, here's all you have to do:
- Sally Rogers: Don't tell a soul you saw us here.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, we won't tell 'em we saw you.
- [Listening at the door, Rob's worst fears are confirmed]
- Sally Rogers: He know. He knows we're keeping a secret from him. I think we ought to tell him.
- Buddy Sorrell: No, no, he thinks we're writing for some other show. Let him.
- Sally Rogers: I still think we ought to tell him!
- Buddy Sorrell: Why?
- Sally Rogers: Well, I just feel guilty about the whole thing, that's all.
- Buddy Sorrell: Ah, guilty, schmilty. We had a wonderful weekend, didn't we?
- Sally Rogers: Yeah, I gotta admit we did.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, and next week it'll be even better. You'll see.
- Sally Rogers: You know, Buddy, I've been to Herbie's Hiawatha Lodge before, but it was never any fun. You being there made all the difference in the world.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hah, you're my favorite female, kiddo. Hey-hey-hey, n-n-next weekend, just you and me again, huh, baby?
- Sally Rogers: Yeah, but, Buddy, what about your wife?
- Buddy Sorrell: Eh, I'll get rid of her.
- Sally Rogers: Well, one more joke and we can call it a week.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, one more weak joke and we can call it a month.
- Rob Petrie: Look, do you... do you mind if I ask you something personal?
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, not if you tell us what it is first.
- Herbie Harris: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your host, Herbie Hiawatha Harris. Tonight we are proud to present to you, direct from their long engagement in the interrogation room at police headquarters, those masters of mirth and melody - and you can continue to order drinks throughout the show, 55¢ for a tall one - here they are, Gilbert and Solomon!
- Sally Rogers: [examining a tomahawk] There's some old indian folklore burnt in on this handle.
- Buddy Sorrell: What does it say?
- Sally Rogers: I gotta know...
- Buddy Sorrell: I gotta know.
- Sally Rogers: ...is like a band...
- Buddy Sorrell: Is like a band.
- Sally Rogers: ...Anna.
- Buddy Sorrell: Anna.
- Sally Rogers: Now say the whole thing.
- Buddy Sorrell: I got a nose like a banana.