- Laura Petrie: I only read the first chapter. Is the rest as good?
- Rob Petrie: Honey, it... Better. I improve as I get along. I be... I start to use punctuation, everything.
- Rob Petrie: Are you ready for a little bit of good news?
- Laura Petrie: Yeah, I think so.
- Rob Petrie: I heard from the publisher today.
- Laura Petrie: Yeah?
- Rob Petrie: He hates it, boy!
- [laughter]
- Rob Petrie: He said it reminded him of about fifty other books.
- Laura Petrie: He's kidding.
- Sally Rogers: No, no, that's what they said.
- Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell: That's right. One editor said it stunk!
- Laura Petrie: Well, why is everyone so happy?
- Rob Petrie: Because Alan read it and he loved it.
- Alan Brady: What do I know from style?
- Rob Petrie: Honey, Alan wants to produce it as a television series.
- Laura Petrie: [in amazement] Your book's gonna be a television series?
- Alan Brady: It's true. Of course, I won't do it till after my series is defunct, which may never be.
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, Alan is going to play me.
- Sally Rogers: Gee, and the three of us are going to write it and Leonard Bershad is going to produce it.
- [loud commotion]
- Rob Petrie: Wait, hold it, hold it a second. Honey, what do you think?
- Laura Petrie: Oh gosh, I don't know what to say - Alan is really going to play you?
- Alan Brady: And Rob won't have to shave his head - I'll wear a toupee.