- Laura Petrie: Why hasn't Sally ever married, Rob? I think, as a comedy writer, she'd be fun to be with. She's an attractive girl.
- Rob Petrie: Sal's had plenty of boyfriends but she scares 'em off.
- Laura Petrie: How?
- Rob Petrie: She's too quick with the answers. Guys hate girls who make jokes about everything.
- Laura Petrie: Well, you don't mind if I make jokes.
- Rob Petrie: Well, I would if you made one every time you opened your mouth.
- Laura Petrie: Rob, you know what I was thinking?
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, and I'm one hundred per cent against it.
- Delivery Boy: Ah, three coffees, here. One black, one regular and one triple-light with four sugars. Hey, how come, Buddy, you take four sugars?
- Buddy Sorrell: Takes energy to write these jokes. I always use four sugars.
- Delivery Boy: You better use five - the show ain't that funny.
- Sally Rogers: Hey, Rob, what's my future husband like?
- Rob Petrie: Oh, well, Sal, I don't kn... He's a fella...
- Sally Rogers: "He's a fella." Good enough, I'll marry him!
- Buddy Sorrell: [hearing Sally invited over to Rob's for dinner] Feels like there's a big party going on or somethin' tonight and I ain't invited. That's all right! I got plenty of friends! I got a date later to play solitaire.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, where's Sally? Huh?
- Rob Petrie: She may be a little late this morning. She worked very hard last night.
- Buddy Sorrell: Whadda ya mean "she worked hard?"
- Rob Petrie: Well, it isn't easy to carve up a hundred and fifty pound lab technician.
- Sally Rogers: What's the matter with you two?
- Buddy Sorrell: We're just tryin' to pep you up. You look like a cheerleader for an accident.
- Laura Petrie: Hi Sally.
- Sally Rogers: Hi. Here's a plastic spaceship for Ritchie and a 5-pound box of candy for you and let's not waste any more time. Where is he?