The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Romance, Roses and Rye Bread (1964)

Rose Marie: Sally Rogers

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Sally discovers a single red rose in her desk] 

  Rob Petrie : I think you've got a secret admirer, huh?

  Sally Rogers : Secret admirer?

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, you know, like those guys who send, uh, a dozen roses to chorus girls.

  Sally Rogers : Yeah, but I'm not a chorus girl.

  Buddy Sorrell : That's why you only got one.

• Sally Rogers : Bert, uh, did you say you know about who left the rose here? Did you see the guy?

  Bert Monker : It was a little token of love to the Cleopatra of Comedy from the Caesar of Sandwiches, to the Juliet of Jokes from the Romeo of Rye. Don't... don't you know who?

• Sally Rogers : And, um, thank you very, very much for the rose.

  Bert Monker : Did... Did you really like it?

  Sally Rogers : LIKE it? I'm gonna take this rose home and crush it between two pieces of rye bread.

• Sally Rogers : That's the story of my life. I'm surrounded by funny guys. You know, just once, just once, I'd like to meet a guy who only knew one punch line, "Will you mary me?"

  Buddy Sorrell : That's a straight line.

  Sally Rogers : I'll take it. No, I mean it, I mean it. I don't care, even if he's not in show business or knows nothing about comedy, is a dull, bland, unfunny guy.

  Buddy Sorrell : [to Mel]  Don't just stand there - volunteer.

• Rob Petrie : [seeing their typed script pages rejected]  Did Alan, uh, crumple those?

  Sally Rogers : Yep, that's Alan's crumple.

• Bert Monker : You know somthin', I... I, uh... I had a birthday last week.

  Sally Rogers : Oh, really? Why didn't you tell us?

  Bert Monker : Well, when a man gets to be my age, he... doesn't like to tell. It's a shock to his system.

  Sally Rogers : Yeah, I know. I had that shock the first time I was twenty-nine.

• Sally Rogers : Nah, it's just like my Aunt Agnes always says, "It's better to get a rose from a casual friend than to get a can of succotash from a hoodlum."

• Rob Petrie : Hey, wait a minute. This rose DOES have kind of a manly smell about it. What... what is it, Buddy?

  Buddy Sorrell : [smelling Sally's rose]  Pastrami.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah. That's what it is. It's pastrami.

  Sally Rogers : Well, there's our first clue. My secret admirer loves pastrami.

  Buddy Sorrell : Either that or this flower was pollinated by a kosher bee.

• Sally Rogers : [trying to learn the source of her rose]  Mel, Mel? Um, you have a garden, don't you?

  Mel Cooley : It's my hobby.

  Sally Rogers : [presenting her flower]  Do you know anything about that?

  Mel Cooley : [taking and appraising it]  Why yes. It's a rose.

  [Mel hands it back and exits] 

  Buddy Sorrell : We shoulda called him earlier.

• Sally Rogers : [disappointed]  Oh, the mystery is solved, but I kinda wish the butler did it.

• Sally Rogers : Well, what's more important, my life or your liver?

• Bert Monker : I would climb mountains, swim oceans, cross deserts for you. Lucky, I only had to take the subway.

  Sally Rogers : That's a little more dangerous than the other three.

• Bert Monker : Exactly one year ago today, this lovely lady came into my place and whispered these sweet words that will live forever in my heart, "Pastrami with mustard, please".

  Sally Rogers : How do you remember that?

  Bert Monker : You're the only one who ever said "Please".

• Rob Petrie : [Buddy suggests that a rose found in Sally's desk could be for Rob or himself]  Oh come on, they don't send roses to fellas.

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, that's right, a rose is kind of a sissy flower.

  Rob Petrie : Are there manly flowers?

  Buddy Sorrell : Why sure, there's snapdragons, tiger lilies, stinkweed.

  Sally Rogers : Oh Buddy, come on!

  Buddy Sorrell : Crabgrass, jonquils...