- Rob Petrie: [Reaching for the Potato Poopies] I'll have some more of those, Laura darling.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, Laura Darling. That would have been her name if she had married you.
- [Pointing to Jim Darling]
- [Sponsor Jim Darling invites everyone up to his penthouse to celebrate their new business relationship]
- Buddy Sorrell: Say, is this, uh, business or pleasure?
- Jim Darling: Strictly pleasure.
- Buddy Sorrell: Good. I'll leave my wife home.
- Rob Petrie: And this is our new sponsor Jim Darling.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, wait a minute. Let's get that right - Jim, our darling sponsor.
- Sally Rogers: Well, a man like you should TAKE time for things like tennis and golf and marriage.
- Jim Darling: Well, I don't care much for tennis or golf, but I'd get married in a minute if I could find another girl like Laura.
- Buddy Sorrell: How about another girl like Sally?
- Sally Rogers: Another girl? How about Sally?
- [New sponsor Jim Darling enters the writers' room]
- Rob Petrie: Jim Darling. Excuse me for staring at you, but I've... sure I know you.
- Mel Cooley: Well, of course you do. He's one of our nation's most dynamic businessmen.
- Buddy Sorrell: Attaboy, Mel. Keep a civil tongue on his boots.
- Sally Rogers: I wonder if the janitor of a building is like the captain of a ship.
- Rob Petrie: What?
- Sally Rogers: I mean, can he marry us? I'd like a simple basement wedding, just the immediate help.
- Laura Petrie: It's kind of interesting and very flattering to see a man destroy himself for the love of a beautiful woman.
- Rob Petrie: Buddy, where's, uh, Pickles?
- Buddy Sorrell: She's takin' a course in cooking. She stayed home, and she's rehearsing breakfast.
- Laura Petrie: Uh, would anyone like some coffee?
- Jim Darling: Yes, as a matter of fact I could use a cup.
- Rob Petrie: I'll get it honey.
- Sally Rogers: [Jumping up] Ah, I'll help you Laura.
- Rob Petrie: Sally, I said I'm going get it.
- Sally Rogers: Oh, boy, are you going to get it.
- Rob Petrie: Well, Jim, the first leg of the trip I'm gonna take her to White Plains, and Mt. Kisco, Peekskill, Wurtsboro, and that will get us to Grossinger's in time for Hanukkah.
- Rob Petrie: [looking at the party snacks] Potato chips, Corn Curlies, Wheat Whippies, Peanut Pippies, and Potato Poopies. This stuff gets cuter every year.