- [Rob, whose sneezing has woken up Laura, gets out of the bed and heads out of the bedroom]
- Laura Petrie: Where're you going?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: I'm gonna go to the den and get some sleep!
- Laura Petrie: No, you're not. You're going there to sneeze thoughts that I can't hear!
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: I am going to go to the den to get some sleep so that you don't have to stay up all night saying...
- [sneezes again]
- Laura Petrie: Gesundheit!
- Jerry Helper: Well, Rob, I'm not a psychiatrist, but didn't you notice that every time you lost a game you sneezed?
- Laura Petrie: Well, I lost too, Jerry, and I'm not sneezing.
- Jerry Helper: Yeah, but, Honey, you don't take defeat as emotionally as Rob. You see, he's suppressing his anger and that anger had to go someplace.
- Millie Helper: So it came out his nose?
- Laura Petrie: You ARE angry with me.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Laura, how did you figure that?
- Laura Petrie: THAT was a hostile sneeze.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: It feels like I'm allergic to SOMETHING.
- Laura Petrie: To marriage, perhaps? To me?
- Laura Petrie: Did you have fun with Freddy today?
- Ritchie Petrie: Yeah, we made a new club. I'm the president.
- Laura Petrie: Oh, so you're the main one.
- Ritchie Petrie: No, Freddy is. He's the king.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: My gosh, I didn't even have to blow my nose all day.
- Laura Petrie: THERE'S good news.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Honey, gimme a hug and a kiss.
- Laura Petrie: Not if you were the last man on Earth.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: [as he starts chasing Laura around the kitchen] Well, I'm... do I... honey, I... it's not for pleasure.
- Laura Petrie: Thank you.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Well, huh... uh, sweetie, it's an experiment.
- Laura Petrie: [fleeing into the living room] Then go kiss a guinea pig!
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: I think I'm allergic to Jerry.
- Jerry Helper: What?
- Millie Helper: You're not making any sense.
- Millie Helper: [to Laura] He's not making any sense.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Jerry, gimme a hug.
- Jerry Helper: A HUG!
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Come on.
- Jerry Helper: No... Rob...
- [Rob hugs Jerry]
- Jerry Helper: ROB...!
- [Rob sneezes]
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Oh. Oh, good, good. Oh... All right, Millie, you're next.
- Millie Helper: What?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Gimme a hug.
- Millie Helper: Laura!
- Laura Petrie: Do as he says.
- Jerry Helper: Hey!
- Millie Helper: Laura says I have to.
- [Rob hugs Millie and sneezes]
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Oh, boy, now we're gettin' somewhere!
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: It's really possible for a guy to be allergic to his own wife, huh?
- Allergist: Well, yes. I know of one case where a father was so allergic that every time he kissed his wife, he broke out in hives.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: What'd he do?
- Allergist: He scratched a lot.